half past eight

April 13, 2009 § 12 Comments

From new camera1

Sometimes you just smile,

And there nothing can hide .

Sometimes you just see 

And the sight sets you free .

 

He lay on his bed wondering what is going on around him . Sometimes things just seem too good to be real . Having his phone buzzing , people wanting to talk to him made him feel happy . But some how , he couldn’t stop looking at where he was all those years back . Time is a funny thing . As you grow older , you keep changing . Things which mattered to you a while back don’t . You see your self in the mirror and try to think back ,what you felt when you saw into it a few months back . You smile at how you felt .

He smiled . But some how he couldn’t accept certain things . He wished this was not a dream . Funny how for a person who kept living in his dreams , he wished this was not a dream . What people never understand is that , what is just a remark by a stranger for someone might mean the world to others and that it can hurt . Yet if you ever spoke about how certain things affected you , people become sarcastic and pass more comments . But by now you have learnt so wouldn’t really care about any of it .

Pain seems a burden when it is physical but it is torture when it is mental . He smiled into the mirror again . Ha made a few funny faces at himself and laughed . He turned and jumped about as if he was a kid . That is what is fun , trying to connect to things by trying to feel the world within . The passion with which you try to understand things around you . The innocent tenacity . He started to sing . It didn’t matter to him , that he was a horrible singer , he just enjoyed doing it .

All though time might catch up soon , he knew he could always play with himself , the child within him .It doesn’t matter what walls are erected , it doesn’t matter what they are made up of . What does matter is the fact that you know you can bring them down when you want to ,not because you have to but because you want to…It was half past eight , he left for the party with a big smile. 

 

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Barriers and justice

April 7, 2009 § 13 Comments

Something stood still-
A barrier to his will ;
As if efforts are meant to be laughed at,
And the world lived far away from the facts.

A day would come , someday,
Where all that was not his would fall;
In a sudden breath of brilliance ,
Life would seem high away in the stars.

Until till , everyday and night ,
He dreamt and saw them high;
His morning star ,he waited for,
The time for the inner call.

Till then he lay , his dreams
never dormant , yet for a few moments,
His mind did torment and remind him
Of days , when love scant and fray.

The wall did stand still ,
But he did paint it –
till it does fall finally,
The paint was a coat of sanity.

And as he does see it as just another wall ,
For the world, he is just another brick in the wall*
But nothing else matters*,
Someday*, things will flipside*,

An overture will break it and give him life
And as the first allegro breaks from the largo,
Life then slowly does seem to raise to the Prestissimo ,
And to the ulterior he can move and grow.

What is within is forever,
The spirit, the will of one will never
Fade into the common commotion of noise
But will rather stand out-the voice of the insane poise.

What does matter does lay in wait,
Down the path ,through the fare way
Placed by our own actions and our plays
Which do make , a butterfly ,

The harbinger of the universe’s fate.
A picture is never complete,
For the world never accepts defeat,
For its desire is to seek,

The purpose and raise higher,
To where the rising sun is lower
And the plains and hills of Earth a blur,
Beyond the bright tempting azure.

But it was about him and not the world,
But it is about him and not the world,
But it will be about him and not the world,
A conceited almost nullity,

Yet if not for him , what could be?
And where will be the ability to see
And hear him and his temperament
His staunch vivacity?

The picture is complete,
For finally The artist does paint the eye,
And the work does come alive ,
And the protagonist does abide,

None. For he is born out of a will ,
And until it is fulfilled, he will walk
The land , how ever long it is spanned
And fulfil the thoughts plan.

Independence contingent upon man,
Destiny presupposed , yet a juxtapose
Did did I rise and it did choose,
And so it will never lose.

Man’s work is to break Inability,
To achieve it or not is destiny.
Mortality is lost ,
When sense of reality is found.

The only justice is poetic,
And it is set into a music,
The matrix when one does act,
The feeling we know it for a fact.

The light shines the brightest

*- Name of songs.

for yourself

October 1, 2008 § 12 Comments

A sound,a feeling,
this is the worth of a being.
Facing life,which keeps coming,
keeping time,which keeps flying.
Hours and seconds go by,
between day and night,
life scrolls along.
logical and some arbitrary ,
pleasure and misery,
growth and depravity.
Some just feel without,
some just feel within.
But what remains is haunting.
From dawn to dusk,
at the noon sun’s rust,
heat and thoughts burn the skin-
you are left to wonder,
and the answers come and you shudder,
explicate pain,rawness,surrender,
you shove everything,finally joy.
A few moments of beauty,
then the clock strikes again,
and you know your effort wasn’t in vain,
and that your pain,
will lead to an ultimate gain,
for you,for I.
When assured you are of only death,
that life is just about making the right bet,
and your human side is for hate,
of all you wish is to break fate.
Vintage feelings resurface,
and in some mystery you laugh away,
and then life catch’s you,
and you are left to defend,
but to defend is cowardice,
and for the sake of magnanimity,
you let go and loose,
and again force yourself to choose.
But someday you will fight,
not for defending,but for your right.
 

The moon shone one day,
and the sun set at the set hour,
and at that moment you know,
you know that you can tare apart
and so to be free,within you see,
and a few walls you break and a few
fences you erect,so that the thorns
tare those who dare to hurt you,
and you know that you are safe.
Yet safety you begin to hate
and with some baseless cause
vanity overcome and naive,
you break everything and lie,
almost lost,almost devoid,
of life and its hell.
But something helps you wake up,
something will shake you up,
something will distrupt
and tie your wings to the ground,
the test of depression and being bound,
almost shall kill you,
but for every knot that the world threw
around you,the pain kills the flesh,
but keeps you,with a desire to live.
And so you will heal the flesh
and fight to rise up fresh.
Lest the world wins.
It is about you,
nothing else but you.
The world is through,
unless you do it for yourself.

The light shines the brightest

The light shines the brightest

September 18, 2008 § 9 Comments

An urge to fill it,
a wish to make everything fit.
Yet,the ignorace fights against being lit.
the hands of clocks keep moving,
and within the closed walls,there is a feeling.
Something which holds it all,too tight,
when you become indifferent,it is not right.
A battle,which goes on all night,
and the day break,just seems for haunting’s sake.

You wish that it will all end,
you wish it would all stop,as it began.
Let you know it is your path
and the pain be felt ,in your heart,
till the time comes,that you depart.

Quintessential,you know it is,
you know that within it,there is a bliss.
All the world has light,
but darkness is a test of your might.
And whatever maybe the battle,
you know,it is from some unknown fiddle.

God,things claim around you,
may he be kind to you,
they say.But something is not on cue,
though i know i will not lose it too.

I refuse to break the dam,
for in that water something swam.
Let them claim it is an illusion,
but for me seeking it is, salvation.
For its sake,I have a life,
and for my sake,i shall strive.
And again and and again ,i will dive,
for within it i can see ,I lie.

Let the world bring,its force,
but my walls,i will reinforce,
nothing can enter,unless by the door,
and everything,even if it is to soar,
can wait,to hurt,when i come to the fore.
Throw it and try to hurt me more,
but i am what i am,
and i wish to be known as the one who swam.

I know my path,is for the right,
and for its sake i will fight,
in the name of my light,
for the sake of me,my light.
I am the one in my eyes,who is bright,
for ,for me,there is the light.
Albeit,the shadows,albeit the night,
keep burning and shine on,you light.
It is all the light,
In the name of the light,
let the light shine the brightest,
the light shines the brightest.

breaking the walls(short story)

July 22, 2008 § 7 Comments


Walls.we build a lot of them around us.We live in between walls,when in fact we pay to get them around is.Why,why do we need to walls inside walls?
there is always a strong desire to become free and he too wanted to be free.’V’ was a 13 year old boy,who will strike you as a ‘normal’ kid.But if you ever happen to strike up a conversation with him,you will be left in awe and tears.His life had been a mixed one-happiness was not always present,he was always alone and he was always picked upon by his class mates and he didn’t have any friends.

He didn’t trust anyone.No one could be trusted ,they all were the same.He felt like an alien,like a disguised cat among dogs,always fearing that his cover would be blown and he would be torn.Every now and then,he came across people who were a little like him.He used to feel very happy,his face would lighten up and he would serenade his audience with true tales and his two faced life.he would then learn about the other alien too.Those moments of joy were unimaginable.But then they didn’t last forever,at least the happiness didn’t.The other person would either move on would just become the ‘others’.

Even though you would have found him alone most of the time,he did liked to talk.In fact,if he got going,there was no stopping him.Yet the way he was treated and the injustice he had to face,bogged him down;The added bricks which were not of his own make,caused his back to bend.At first he would cry himself to sleep every night,hoping that someone,somewhere would hear him.He used to talk to himself,he used to talk in his sleep too,he created his own ‘ideal’ people,whom he moved and hurt and loved the way he wanted to.he slowly got engrossed into this fantasy,in which he was ruler of destiny,the lord of the universe.

It is not that he didn’t believe in god,but he did lose faith in god.He asked god to show him a miracle and since he didn’t see any,he concluded that there was god.So having no purpose and having no one but himself,he learnt to enjoy his loneliness.Very few people dared to enter his world,even if they ventured,he didn’t like the human presence and killed them and with a dirge buried them.

And so like this he turned 14.People ignored him.When he talked no one ever heard him.He hated his school life.He didn’t know what he wanted.He used to sit alone and stare at everything around him.It didn’t matter where he was,no one would disturb him,even if he sat in the middle of a ‘group’ no one would notice him.It was almost like,he didn’t exist.And he never got the idea of a group.He had never been in one to know the sense of belonging,to him the people were the walls,they closed on him when ever they pleased,they moved an ocean apart,when ever they felt like.But when ever they did move apart,more walls came up.It was as if,he was being taunted.Like a scared child,he hugged on to his world,like the last of a specie he tried to save himself,even though he knew the end was inevitable.

And the end came.The pressure grew,until one day he decided he didn’t want this world.He didn’t have anything,to him the world was evil.Why what was ‘virtue’,was this it? Was this humanity?he hated it all.He locked himself in a room.He thought of his decision to kill himself.He thought about everyone in his life,he thanked them for everything they had been.He forgave everyone.And as he decided to end it all,the miracle he had been looking for came.A light,the long tunnel had a light at its end.It was unlike any light he had ever seen all his life.It told him,not to do it.He didn’t understand.He paused.He questioned the light.The light told him he was the progeny, that he came from a great family and that he had a purpose.Everything till then was a challenge,a test.It was he who had chosen this way to enlighten himself.He still didn’t understand,but he was curious,he decided he will give it a try,after all,he didn’t have anything to lose-except his life.And well if something would throw light on to his life,why not bask in it?

And the light thought him,it led him.enlightenment was indeed this.
All are god.All are me.I am all.he realized that there are so many things.he was not the only alien ,there were lots of them,but being aliens they were rare.He learnt so many things,which he had never known.When you go to a new place,you watch the people and observe what they do,he did that.he understood the basic nature of humans.He understood his own emotions.and even though he was sitting under the light,there was a shadow.His was his loneliness.Your shadow is your greatest tutor and so loneliness thought him things,yet your shadow lets you down,your enemy knows that you are there.He knew he couldn’t control the shadow,but at least,he can concentrate on the light,it will give him a solution.

A betrayal.

Then suddenly darkness came.The shadow took over again.The reign of darkness spread and all that was good seemed red.He felt the old pain,grow inside him,he left his life going back to square one.His experience thought him that this was test,but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it.But then at 15 he was wise,wiser than the other kids.He aimlessly roamed the darkness.he had a match to strike and light up the light,but he didn’t couldn’t find any place to light the match.The darkness grew,like only darkness can.

the darkest hour is before dawn,and words became his dawn.One fine day he picked up his pen,from then on,life became life.He understood the light was him.He appreciated it.he loved it.yet there are moments in his life,when darkness sets in again.It eats him,like how it spreads when the sunsets.But since he was the light,he quickened the darkness,so that he quickened the dawn.

In between all this,he had learnt to break the walls.he broke and created them at his will.He was not scared of the world,but then having known loneliness as it is,he knew that those moments are something which will make you rich.His pen was his sword and he was not afraid,you sometimes fled from a battle so that you don’t taint your sword.The walls he knew,were like all on earth-a boon and a bane-both were of the same,but it is what name you lend to them-god or devil.

What will his life be?What will he be in the future?

No one is a mater of destiny,except us.But have a shadow within us,which we might watch so that we don’t become our own walls.We our the only once who can summon and we are the ones who can be summoned.We have the right to choose and we are the choice.Everyone and everything has a voice and its purpose is not just to make some noise,but to tell you about what you are and your choice.No one is to be blamed.Everything is right ,as everything is the same.What is a crime?What is a sin?Every wall has a weak spot within and once we strike it,there is nothing of it except its remains in our memory.

When you build your walls,remember where is the spot,so that you can guard it when you have to and also break it when you need to.No wall is too great.A wall is a tool like everything else.You are the creator,preserver and destroyer of the tool.Use your tool,the way it is supposed to be.There is a light within and none can destroy it. Darkness is a phase,when light decides to show you its other face.Your eyes might pain,if you keep looking into light,so cool your eyes with darkness as it is as sweet as fire is when compared to water.

Be yourself.Don’t be afraid to break.For if you don’t lie,truth has no meaning.

break the walls!

May 13, 2008 § 10 Comments

the world is beautiful,
with peace as the tool,
take a look and you know
life is cool!

break down the walls,
which left you in mazes,
break down the walls,
which created dark phrases.

let your mind ponder what it needs,
but take a few moments and a peek
at life and its many view,
clearer, becomes what you seek.

there is a single force,
it is your only dose,
it is what chose,
from it you rose.

acceptance brings rebellion,
rebellion brings inoculation,
inoculation brings fulfilment,
fulfilment brings achievement.

once there are no walls,
you are free,
you can catch a breeze
or just lay about and ease,
but there is need,
which you need to fulfill,
the reason force of being,
the pinnacle of truth,
an action,which adds
a code to the decoded universe.

keep your path,
let it lead,
in the end,
you will succeed .

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