I walk

June 15, 2017 § Leave a comment

 

I am that guy who walks with long strides and short, through cities big and small, towns with paddy field boundaries and villages with a cross road or two.

I am a small force of my own, an object small, determined to walk however far, I don’t know to what. I push through the heat, through the cold, through rain and sweat, drenched, past churches, temples, mosques and elsewhere where people go to seek the divine, but find a human in between instead.

I have no faith,

It just is.

I have hope,

It just is.

I see gorges, I see rivers free, I see the deep valley cut clean. There’s a whisper, there’s a flap, there’s a flurry, there’s maybe a prey or a predator, but all I see is a quietude, a slumber, an afternoon rain weathering away the rocks as if to measure life sans time, in a moment that lasts itself beyond reason or rime.

There are no boundaries, except those we draw on our own. And we draw, we carve, the lines that are roads, the way to homes we build in tiny geometric shapes plotted on plans and maps, surveyed and claimed as humanity’s own.

I walk under the sun, I walk under the street lights, I walk through firefly lit starry nights. I watch the match boxes come alive, at tea stalls and humongous complexes with tiny ants rushing in anxiety to fill another day with they know not what, but call a purpose.

I walk past the malls and the neon light boards that insist that the you can’t resist what is within- racks of the same, machine made and mould. There are no rats there, just spiders and cobwebs that escape pest control.

 

The five-o-clock sea breeze squeezes and chocks its way past the sepulchres of everyday life that form a maze with no end, either way. The crows scavenge and steal from the fortnight’s garbage. There’s a rot somewhere, and a nervous laughter all around, no one wants to stir the tea which is already too sweet.

I hear the music play, a coy bride on her wedding day, being apparently given away. I hear the songs of parvenu faith, blaring aloud, thumping chests to twirling moustaches, a goddess is demure when the nine-yards are draped.

I stride, and I leap, I run. There’s nothing in my mind, but the next step, and then another.

I believe in hope.

It remains alive through the dreary monsoon days, the harsh Madras sun and the opaque Himalayan cold that eats into your very bones. It lingers on, like the taste of your first lover, which you try to recount, to remember the day you were first together, young and silly, tangled limbs and messy sheets.

My strides strong and long, never weary. The feet yearn for more, a mile, or a furlong, you can call it whatever you want.

There is no corner they leave unthread on the dirty beaches in my city, with faded boats casting long shadows under which stray dogs rest, under which young lovers hope not to be repressed.

There’s no nook which they not pass by, the crevices in the jumble of rocks destined to become sand, the burrows of wild creatures which hide and prowl only at night.

I seek hope, for I believe in it.

Every road has a memory of love, of grief, of pain, of laughter and others’ memories. There are stories that speak through abandoned shoes and neglected rosaries, there’s always someone who has been here before- wanting to be set free, searching for faith in sand castles and abandoned temples. There are moonlit shadows that smell of cheap wine and rum, lovers in revelry, lost souls washed ashore who cannot burrow like crabs any more.

Some paths split, taking you afar, others which come together to bring worn shoes home, torn to be mended by hands varicose and alone. The streets cut each other at ninety degrees, but there’s always that cul-de-sac which lies forlorn.

I yearn for hope.

There’s a twilight which lingers on, like a long-lost memory. There’s a watch forever stuck at half-past three.

I walk.

I am that guy who walks with long strides and short, through cities big and small, towns with paddy field boundaries and villages with a cross road or two.

I have no faith,

It just is.

I have hope,

It just is.

 

 

THE TRUE INDIAN

June 8, 2008 § 7 Comments

GOOOOOODDDD MORRRNNNINGGGGG blogosphere.

note:- the following post is unedited,i.e. i haven’t re-read it.So you might encounter a few spelling and grammatical errors,i suggest you ignore them,or well you are wasting your time commenting on them 😀

Well i just felt like saying good morning.duh 😀 I just feel like laughing a lot right don’t why.Might be the fact,well no clue.i am still trying to find out why>it is funny that i am in a good mood today,because yesterday,i almost dis-owned the human race!And yes i am going to lament ,in detail what happened yesterday,NO LAUGHING PLEASE!!!

It was just like any other day,the morning routine,of waking up and going to school went on.In school i slept through economics(i think this time seriously did,for i thought we had,had only 10 minutes of economics,but my friends told me we had an hour of it! *sigh*) and then we had a couple of periods free,during which ,being the most insane class in the world,we all started bugging each other.The highlight was a fight between P and R(R had flunked last year and was repeating 11th,but was in my class since there were no teachers and his *gf* was there).P had called him a junior and they got into a fight,*get the point*),well it wasn’t actually much of a fight,but it would have been fun,at least,the 70 bucks which i later payed for the auto would have been compensated.) After the short break we had math,since i sit in the first row and also since my maths teacher knows i usually just like that drop into a siesta,i couldn’t sleep.On the brink of a semi-sanity,i kept mumbling through the class,trying to make sense of it all( i.e. of life and what was i doing there).

Well the bad part is about to start,should i or should i not?

After math,we were allowed to go home! I rushed out,and bingo in the basket ball court,we had football! So after all the usual delays about teams and stuff,we began to play.I set up one goal(we ended up losing or winning 3-2,forgot which),but in the process i hurt my shin(took a full blood back heal).And once the game was over, i started walking,once i outside the school,my usual search for autos began.*it has begun* . i found no auto even after i had made it to the main road(about .5-1 km,it varies you see).Still no autos.So i decided it was time i caught a train. I walked another (.7-1 km) to the station and go to the ticket counter( i take out a 10 buck note and push it through the counter):-

me:- oru mamblam(one mamblam:- one ticket for mamblam)

the counter guy(tcg):- change illa(no change).i am pretty irritated tone.

i let a couple of people go,and saw that he had the change,so i again go and ask.he tells the same thing again,now i told him hell keep the ten bucks,just give me a ticket!He again says no,i tell him give me two tickets,still no! All this for a 4 buck ticket! I was getting damn irritated and thirsty!So i decided to ask a few people if they had change.And no one had any! So without wanting to start a fight9 i knew i will never get anything out of it,so i start walking again,i am damn pissed,i have no clue about bus roots,and also i knew i had to change buses somewhere,i was in no mood for that.I walk about 2 Kms( i asked for change,outside station too,but in response they asked if i had change for hundred.My water bottle had dried up and at about 40 degree Celsius it was no joke,especially since i hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at 7( and for the first time in 5 years i didn’t wear my watch,is didn’t know what time it was).i at last found an auto(but the guy asked me for 70 bucks for the next 3-4 Kms(there was an auto strike yesterday ,against the rise in fuel prices,and i didn’t know that until i reached home).I had two options either to walk the 3-4- kms or pay the guy,but the above mentioned factors made me feel dizzy,so i took the auto.And i reached home in 10 minutes and payed the guy 70 bucks9 i usually pay 60 from my school).i hate the left parties for the strike ,as i said before i almost dis-owned the human race,guys like Osama and Bush suddenly looked like the the right guys9after the guy in the station).

Phew,so i am not sure why i am happy right now.But mr.Lalu Prasad,it is nice to hear that you have started a blog, i am going to spam your blog with this story! What does your railways think? After all i was in my school uniform.

Now i think i have at last seen a true “Indian”,all these days i was seeing the real good people,but this guy seems to represent the Indian which i haven’t see much except on T.V. But as they say all is well that ends well,to see that my blog had about 50 hits made me smile 😀

Next time i have to go in train,i think the counter guy better watch out,i was in no mood to get witty yesterday,but next time mr. watch out.

This must be one of the longest posts i have written-ever.*sigh* Good old sunday morning. 😀

IN KODAI

May 30, 2008 § 7 Comments

the mountain mists descend,
the heat has been made to bend,
the rains pour-incessant,
no thirst left to quench.

smoke on the water,
the nights become colder,
silence prevails,for the better,
everwhere there is green cover.

crowds like their cycles,
also their lake-walks,
a couple of parks
and the famous landmarks.

a better world,without worry?
or what i see is just of the sojourn
and not the local born,
will the treasure of nature live on?

Where Am I?

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