I exist

I would love to stand on top of the tallest hill in the world and shout my lungs out and roll on the grass at that tallest hill laughing away like a maniac. But since I cannot for myriad reasons(like for eg. me being really lazy person), I just decide to think about it and end up day dreaming, rather evening dreaming while doing the chest press at the gym.

It is rather significant fact that life is so much more enjoyable when you pretend it to be enjoyable. Over a period of time it does become enjoyable. In that way anything and everything is enjoyable, including walking in 40C and sweating all over. Life is in pretense than in the actuals, simple because there are times when one has no clue as to what is real.

It is easy to say gulping down a tetra pack of apple juice is your reality but it probably isn’t the reality of a prodigal daughter sitting in a bar and drinking away or that kid in the corner of the road trying to sell coloring books for some unknown mafia. But you learn to ignore both and still fall in love with that costly car and that dark street with a single street lamp and cool evening sea breeze.

Not that you are poor or something. You have reached material contentment and it should last a while- as long as people keep making annoying ads.

I stopped calling myself a writer. Not that I can’t find time, but I don’t see the point in writing. You can feel depressed and bothered and writing does ease it, but you don’t make anything out of it. You take a stance on a topic and you can argue but you don’t achieve anything. Thinking is one thing, doing is another. I am trying to figure out how to get things done.

I will start writing stories and the like again sooner rather than later but I continue writing poems every now and then- poetry is that verse that reminds you of your joyous self. Some say I read too many depressing books, but I enjoy them. There is a part of me that enjoys being grave. There is no use fighting my love for melancholy, I embrace it, enjoy it and continue. And while it my sound bad, it was necessary to reach this point- now I can enjoy those smaller things which I couldn’t before. I am happy because I don’t have a reason to feel sad. And even when I feel sad, I know I am happy about it.

I went to North India for the first time. There are as many Indians as stars in the universe. You can never put it in words nor in pictures. It is one long motion film, never ending and never ending. The contrasts are too much but Jai ho! and corruption followed me all the way to Wagh Border. Someone told me corruption isn’t in our DNA, but I tell you it is.

I refuse to write about things that bother me any more because I know they bother me and that if something has to be done about it, I need to do it. All that is important is that I remain happy forever. And that is possible only when sources I seek happiness from exist and are happy.

I still dream and I always will, it is just that I see things differently when I am awake, but my dreams always inspire me.

I exist because I think, but more importantly I exist.

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Silence

Silence.

Noise.

World.

Hallucination. 

Sleepy.

Blurred.

Day.

Thoughts.

Belonging.

Affinity.

Rage.

Calm.

Lull.

Storm.

Night.

Neither.

Never.

Nerves.

Nemesis.

Rebirth.

Revolve.

Self.

Being.

Revolution.

Revival.

Resistance.

Penchant.

Growth.

Bonds.

Believe.

Virtue.

You.

Universe.

Mean.

Deal.

Eerie.

Humongous.

Contained.

Tenacious.

Satisfied.

Lied.

Dive.

Labyrinth.

Out.

Exit.

Behind.

Great.

Sight.

Scenic.

Swell.

Swirl.

Sound.

Evolve.

Noise.

Thoughts.

World.

Finale.

Silence.

See up..

From 1st

Just see what is above you.No,i don’t mean the ceiling,see beyond that.Try to imagine,the sky,how it might be right now.Think of the universe,the stars,everything and anything.What do you see?

Of the subatomic and the brain

Well well,the world is going to end sooner than 2012,it seems! Wow,i am waiting for it! What with a  letter on Nikhil’s blog and so many people writing about how the world is at panic,that a few scientists are going to perform an experiment.Well i am looking forward to it.Hope they find how the universe came into being,they will deserve it,for they have put in a lot of effort.We all are so bothered about dieing suddenly aren’t we? Why aren’t we the creatures who don’t give a damn about our fellow creatures on earth and treat them however we wish?We go even as far the trade them,across nations,we pack them and deprive them or their rightful freedom.Why talk of other creatures,when we kill our own race,in the name of religion and the usual stuff?

I haven’t bother watching the news in a while( i saw Kalam’s interview last ,on Sunday night.It was about the N-deal) .So it was all started by some stupid channel,which had exhausted its ability to find things which people really have to bother about.Has anyone considered the fact,that these guys have brains and they know how to make sure it is safe? One thing i hope is that,they publish the results and use it strictly for experimentation alone.Whatever happens they should never give to the monkeys ,who know nothing except to throw thing on each other.

CERN has assured the world that it is all safe. It is pretty amazing,that we humans have evolved so much( yes, well i need to call these people aliens among humanity,but well after all,these people are humans,and the others something else) .What once seemed impossible is possible now.As the weirdest among the aliens(Einstein,firefox corrects me,i still can’t spell his name correctly!)  said

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

And i agree with him complete.It takes hell a lot of effort to cramp the universe into the small box.As we move along we face more new questions and problems and are left to ponder these,to arrive at more and more questions and problems.But well, we are the species which are supposed to think and use our brains for survival.The problem is that,there are too many monkeys and apes still running about with cloths and ostrich( no i misspelled this too!)  brain claiming arbitrary things and destroying our world.But humans have always survived,after all

It took 380,000 years for the electrons to be trapped in orbits around nuclei, forming the first atoms.

As this page says.

Well to finish up things,here is another graffiti or scribbling or whatever you want to call it.

From photoshopped

Update: see this page,it has the pic of the LHC 🙂

light in the centre

Where do you think all the light in the world meets?what do you think is the center?

A world full of life

A world full of life
and a world full of life,
oh! it is a world full of life!
Yet what is alive
and what is dead,
in this unmovable quest?
Is breath alone a sign of life?
Are movements the only blood of life?
is a sight a right of life?
Then everything has it i say,
everything from air,
to water,from sand
to the fire,
everything moves,everything is moved,
by who,by who,
but the ultimate force.
We say we move by our will,
the wind does too-by its will.
The world is a curled ball,
which spins around eternity’s eye,
one so centered yet moving.
The world is alive,
the world is alive
and yet it is dead.
for what is a point,
in a line but a termination-
everything of life’s salvation.
Yet is it salvation?
when you are closed in a box
and let to the drollery death-
one predetermined ,yet so
one of the moment-
that you live in a paradox box,
wondering if everything is of clocks?
In a bid to survive,
to the cynical universe,
you wonder your worth
and think of those days,
when you were yet a child,
immaculate and unborn,
a virgin upon life’s thorn.
The yearning to be a mess,
the yearning to be free
and roam the universe,
kills you.As the need for air,
is filled with ether,
which you see float
and rob you of the very thing
you want to seek.
Yet you are alive
and now not afraid,
with destiny upon destiny,
filled and density
added to the profoundness
and the worldly kindled
and the universal accepted ,
you break the box and that of life,
with a force that death cries
with fear of itself.
You become an eternal walker
upon the paths of forks,
you take the right and
yet move left,
and all the while you stand unmoved.
Achievement is a glory,
sojourn is a container,
life is eternal
and being universal,
you are immortal.
And the world ceases to exist
as you are the world,
you walk the vistas of your own anatomy
and you understand your own psyche
and the mind is but a tool
used to fight your own ,
for the amusement of life-
the breath,the laughter
and the smile.Eternal being
you are life and with the world
a peace breaths,there is no strife
and life! OH! life ,is a smile,
for laughter is ecstasy
and depression is pleasure.
Finally you shine,
no breath is needed,
for the light is the ultimate
and you are that,
peace be all,and aye,
nay darkness nay light,
so you willfully strangle your life,
so that light can squeeze out,
so that everything exists
and you are left to wonder
your own origin,
who are you?
what are you?
oh! universe
a bright sage whose wit is lost?
a stone who is sand?
a love which is hate?
a faith which is tarnished?
I wish i knew,
and so life moves,
and so the pressure of living
and the pleasure and ecstasy
and bid for freedom-
pain a need
and illusion a food,
my own thoughts conjure
the hell and heaven
and the non-existence.
what is the truth?
what is the lie?
everything has a face,
and that face has two.
A nine life being,
a seven seas roamer,
a five day fighter,
the sun and the moon
the satan and the God
all will perish when i die,
yet one will remain
and that is life,
the essence of the pinnacle illusion
the death which feeds the body’s origin
is the essence of the universe,
to seek the next,
for the universe is alive.

The light shines the brightest

Stream of thoughts

thoughts.
dimension.
dreams.
reality.
between.
awareness.
numb.
past.
present.
future.
he.
she.
stars.
sun.
brightness.
darkness.
flowers.
cold.
silence.
hot.
noise.
words.
music.
calm.
storm.
wish.
want.
demand.
pain.
world.
surroundings.
environment.
birds.
earth.
humanity.
gone.
life.
love.
living.
voice.
breath.
silence.
height.
joy.
poignant.
level.
monotonous.
friends.
reminder.
loneliness.
family.
childhood.
blank.
numb.
lost.
nothing.
senseless.
time.
infinity.
universe.
boundless.
origin.
unknown.
nothing.
existence.
nil.
zero.
me.
I.
You.
relationships.
LIGHT!
OM!
OM!
OM!

the light shines the brightest!

ONE SECOND PLEASE!

In a second a life can be made,
in a second life can be saved,
in a second death can be ebbed,
in a second all might get bread.
In a second,earth might be caved.
In a second the world can be crunched.
In a second,lesser than it,
the whole known world, began.
In a second bigger than it,
life still keeps its pun.

So what can be done,
when life is about to run
and the last second has begun?
Will you try to save it?
or will you try to live it?
or will you try to give it?
or will you try to fill it?
what choice can be made,
that will be the best,
that which will be the cleverest?

What will you choose to do,if you have only one second left? And well a few of you might know what is the above picture ,but still what is it?

nay purpose,nay life?

so a lack of purpose,
led to creation,
and we are all suffering
without any ultimate relation.
A knowledge ,from past
has ceased in its grave,
for there is no purpose to save?
then why live?
then why remain static,
in a world which is,yet dimensional?
if purpose is none,
why have anything at all?
if purpose is none,
then none exists behind
the dark universal veil?
If there is no ultimatum,
if there is no purpose,
then why should we breath?
or for that matter breed?
If no purpose can be found,
behind every wall or cloud,
then why have them all
scattered around in the reason
-purpose dead intersection?

if there is no purpose,
then why be born?
then why be dead?
why cannot we be static at rest?
what laws define the infinite
finite,which at its shore
impresses a sense of profound secrecy?
Why a humbug race called humanity?
which though bothered to define humility,
is at most times is full of hypocrisy?
Why if no purpose exists,
should a few strewn reminiscences
of ancient quest be buried,
deep inside a sands hurried?
Why at all if no purpose exists,
do we even seek a knowledge
which we believe will free
us of this mortal bondage?
why do we seek purpose?
for what do we seek purpose?
what is the origin of need
to be purposeful?

If purpose can define life?
then what is it?
yet we seem to think
that ,not a purpose exists,
but an infinite might,
which we call as the universe
and our own selves.
What is the cause of the universe?
or is it too a purpose lost
thought,an impossible notion,
in the minds of creation.
Yet we say none exists.
so i ask what is the purpose
of non existence? whence
does it appear,a need to
fill an aesthetic grotesque
art,with a perception
which not even the artist
knows of, even in completion?
are we too small to see
purpose?Why are we, then too small?
Is there an end,where purpose
ceases,where purpose breaches
none but it self to annihilate
itself and reveal the true core,
even if it is sore core,
after all the dark drills it bore?

If purpose exists to everything,
then let it be in everything.
I am aware yet cannot perceive.
are my dimensions too cute
that the gory art of purpose
falls at its beauty? if so,i say
none matters,but the purpose,
for which i seek purpose be filled.
For the perennial universe
of questions,which all seek
a divine purpose(which is all),
there is a perennial universe
of solutions and answers,
one which parallel yet the same
as the question.If both nay
exist,then no theism can be filled,
for money might be made of matter,
yet its value is of the administrator.

Purpose,i ask what is your purpose?
If love fails purpose,
then let everything be struck by it,
so that none question you,
who is full of unknown purpose.
If love it is,let it be,
we are all blind and cannot see-
a love which is too big that
only our breath is able
to perceive, a taste which our
knowledge initiates us to believe
that it is the blush of love,
which is the fodder,
to fill our hunger-
derived from the thirst of purpose.
If lot it is,
then let it be love,
which paints the world,
for if not the world will lose purpose,
in seeking purpose,you
who is sly as a shadow,
who is the hands behind
the wheels of destiny,
which we say is the purpose.

Purpose,purpose,purpose,
let us ,love us.

the light shines the brightest.

i am the universe

i am a universe,
the blood flows through me.
i am a universe,
i know i am free.
i am the universe,
it is me and i am the universe.
the whole world is one,
the universe i am,is
the universe i will be.
i am infinite,
there is nothing definite,
yet everything is finite.
i am the universe,
i am the dark night,
and the sunny day,
i am the universe,
i am same as everyone,
an expression,a cell
in one greater being,
different yet that.

i am the universe.
i am the universe.
i am the universe.