breaking the walls(short story)
July 22, 2008 § 7 Comments
Walls.we build a lot of them around us.We live in between walls,when in fact we pay to get them around is.Why,why do we need to walls inside walls?
there is always a strong desire to become free and he too wanted to be free.’V’ was a 13 year old boy,who will strike you as a ‘normal’ kid.But if you ever happen to strike up a conversation with him,you will be left in awe and tears.His life had been a mixed one-happiness was not always present,he was always alone and he was always picked upon by his class mates and he didn’t have any friends.
He didn’t trust anyone.No one could be trusted ,they all were the same.He felt like an alien,like a disguised cat among dogs,always fearing that his cover would be blown and he would be torn.Every now and then,he came across people who were a little like him.He used to feel very happy,his face would lighten up and he would serenade his audience with true tales and his two faced life.he would then learn about the other alien too.Those moments of joy were unimaginable.But then they didn’t last forever,at least the happiness didn’t.The other person would either move on would just become the ‘others’.
Even though you would have found him alone most of the time,he did liked to talk.In fact,if he got going,there was no stopping him.Yet the way he was treated and the injustice he had to face,bogged him down;The added bricks which were not of his own make,caused his back to bend.At first he would cry himself to sleep every night,hoping that someone,somewhere would hear him.He used to talk to himself,he used to talk in his sleep too,he created his own ‘ideal’ people,whom he moved and hurt and loved the way he wanted to.he slowly got engrossed into this fantasy,in which he was ruler of destiny,the lord of the universe.
It is not that he didn’t believe in god,but he did lose faith in god.He asked god to show him a miracle and since he didn’t see any,he concluded that there was god.So having no purpose and having no one but himself,he learnt to enjoy his loneliness.Very few people dared to enter his world,even if they ventured,he didn’t like the human presence and killed them and with a dirge buried them.
And so like this he turned 14.People ignored him.When he talked no one ever heard him.He hated his school life.He didn’t know what he wanted.He used to sit alone and stare at everything around him.It didn’t matter where he was,no one would disturb him,even if he sat in the middle of a ‘group’ no one would notice him.It was almost like,he didn’t exist.And he never got the idea of a group.He had never been in one to know the sense of belonging,to him the people were the walls,they closed on him when ever they pleased,they moved an ocean apart,when ever they felt like.But when ever they did move apart,more walls came up.It was as if,he was being taunted.Like a scared child,he hugged on to his world,like the last of a specie he tried to save himself,even though he knew the end was inevitable.
And the end came.The pressure grew,until one day he decided he didn’t want this world.He didn’t have anything,to him the world was evil.Why what was ‘virtue’,was this it? Was this humanity?he hated it all.He locked himself in a room.He thought of his decision to kill himself.He thought about everyone in his life,he thanked them for everything they had been.He forgave everyone.And as he decided to end it all,the miracle he had been looking for came.A light,the long tunnel had a light at its end.It was unlike any light he had ever seen all his life.It told him,not to do it.He didn’t understand.He paused.He questioned the light.The light told him he was the progeny, that he came from a great family and that he had a purpose.Everything till then was a challenge,a test.It was he who had chosen this way to enlighten himself.He still didn’t understand,but he was curious,he decided he will give it a try,after all,he didn’t have anything to lose-except his life.And well if something would throw light on to his life,why not bask in it?
And the light thought him,it led him.enlightenment was indeed this.
All are god.All are me.I am all.he realized that there are so many things.he was not the only alien ,there were lots of them,but being aliens they were rare.He learnt so many things,which he had never known.When you go to a new place,you watch the people and observe what they do,he did that.he understood the basic nature of humans.He understood his own emotions.and even though he was sitting under the light,there was a shadow.His was his loneliness.Your shadow is your greatest tutor and so loneliness thought him things,yet your shadow lets you down,your enemy knows that you are there.He knew he couldn’t control the shadow,but at least,he can concentrate on the light,it will give him a solution.
Then suddenly darkness came.The shadow took over again.The reign of darkness spread and all that was good seemed red.He felt the old pain,grow inside him,he left his life going back to square one.His experience thought him that this was test,but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it.But then at 15 he was wise,wiser than the other kids.He aimlessly roamed the darkness.he had a match to strike and light up the light,but he didn’t couldn’t find any place to light the match.The darkness grew,like only darkness can.
the darkest hour is before dawn,and words became his dawn.One fine day he picked up his pen,from then on,life became life.He understood the light was him.He appreciated it.he loved it.yet there are moments in his life,when darkness sets in again.It eats him,like how it spreads when the sunsets.But since he was the light,he quickened the darkness,so that he quickened the dawn.
In between all this,he had learnt to break the walls.he broke and created them at his will.He was not scared of the world,but then having known loneliness as it is,he knew that those moments are something which will make you rich.His pen was his sword and he was not afraid,you sometimes fled from a battle so that you don’t taint your sword.The walls he knew,were like all on earth-a boon and a bane-both were of the same,but it is what name you lend to them-god or devil.
What will his life be?What will he be in the future?
No one is a mater of destiny,except us.But have a shadow within us,which we might watch so that we don’t become our own walls.We our the only once who can summon and we are the ones who can be summoned.We have the right to choose and we are the choice.Everyone and everything has a voice and its purpose is not just to make some noise,but to tell you about what you are and your choice.No one is to be blamed.Everything is right ,as everything is the same.What is a crime?What is a sin?Every wall has a weak spot within and once we strike it,there is nothing of it except its remains in our memory.
When you build your walls,remember where is the spot,so that you can guard it when you have to and also break it when you need to.No wall is too great.A wall is a tool like everything else.You are the creator,preserver and destroyer of the tool.Use your tool,the way it is supposed to be.There is a light within and none can destroy it. Darkness is a phase,when light decides to show you its other face.Your eyes might pain,if you keep looking into light,so cool your eyes with darkness as it is as sweet as fire is when compared to water.
Be yourself.Don’t be afraid to break.For if you don’t lie,truth has no meaning.
Tagged!-Why i hate humans
June 29, 2008 § 11 Comments
I am jumping,jumping and bouncing and blabbering,yes i caught my blog as it got its 10000th hit 🙂 Yup it isn’t 10008 yet,but then 9 & 7 are my lucky numbers 🙂 So 10008 add then you get 9 subtract them and you get 7 🙂 This is really amazing,mainly because my original blog still hasn’t reached 8000 after 2 years and this has got 10000 😀
And so Another tag 🙂 This one is about people i hate and comes from Arvind! It is pretty funny,for right now i love everyone 🙂 The 10008 has got me so happy,that even a human hater like me is in love with humanity 🙂 But anyway i am going to tell my super fast mind to chill a bit,it does need to keep awake till 2( Spain VS Germany! tonight) and get to think of why i hate my own race 🙂
>i don’t know if it is because of too many movies/cartoons/books with the idea of having people hate their own race,but I hate humans because they are humans,they seem to think they know everything.these beings who call them selves as adults,try to spoil young minds by controlling them.While all the movie heroes might hate the word “sorry”,i hate the word MISBEHAVE.I hate it i tell you,for that is what you get for just letting your mind out 🙂 ( was about to say hair down,but then according to my mom, I misbehave if I grow my hair 😦 so i wear my hair really short).why so many creatures will be jea of humans for their ‘intelligence’ ,these stupid creatures always believe in making “kids”(the far intelligent yet innocent and free ) the same as they were.The only rope we kids have is the gen. gap.
>Ok,so i covered most of humanity in my first point.So the second point should be more pointing.so the next kind,is ” I am so emotional and get depressed ,i just go wild or just sit and cry”.Ok so that makes me hate myself.I hate the part of me,which is always ready to feel sad and dejected.But i love it too,for that is me ,it is the outer cover for the still innocent child in me 🙂
> now i am seriously running out of people! I covered the world,i covered me,now where for the third step? Anyone willing to lend your head and ruling the under world? Well got it.It is those who don’t appreciate other religions and most of all their own.” It is what our religion says that is what i follow”,I believe blind faith comes only when you don’t appreciate anything and those who appreciate will just follow what they want and not impose things on others and not hate other religions.Anyway blind faith is owed to a lot of people in the 1st point.No religion ever preaches that you hate every other religion.religion has become the tool for people to being used.(those who use it come later ) but it is the people’s willingness to be used,which causes them to be used.I remember stories in my tamil class,where my teacher with pride would tell us that the erstwhile kings of our country would rather die,than live under someone or thing ,they don’t believe in.And for that you don’t go destroy what is not yours and that which is not yours is everything.For the body too is a cage and the cage has a right to be broken.( i am not promoting suicide,but i am not against it)
> Those who use others.And i too am guilty of this.But i try to avoid it,i usually do it to people who try to use me,so it is a kind of symbiosis.No one has a right to crush another.yet we have the people who treat humans as if they were born for slavery.while those who are crushed come from a family which wasn’t bale to withhold, even if you are under someone you should be your own master.But our system is such that one leads and everyone follows and that is the safest too.So A leader is one who understands all his comrades and will be able to sort the problems among them.And yet for leaders we have avarice,lusty cynical brutes for whom “me and I” are the paradise .I am not telling you to be more charitable and empathize ,you have right to love and be yourself,but remember that a workers hand is also a hand and that his eyes are also eyes.His duty is to do that,for he is not you,so appreciate his work and he will not covet for your work.
> Now i have seriously gone into a frenzy,so the last of humanity i hate.While i have covered more than a fifth,this would make it more than whole.I hate humanity for not understanding itself.Why so as we call ’em our mortal mother and father Adam and Eve or whatever they maybe,never thought about why we were here? Were they lost in a thought so profound,that the fruit they eat was in thought and not in real?Why have they given us a world which we would never be able to appreciate with our tiny eyes and why did they give us this world which we will never understand?
For humanity is meant to suffer,
for life was never meant to be,
but a mistake created by its own
mistake,which we all now justify?
Fir happiness is a state of life and
so ecstasy is not infinity
but the state of supreme individuality.
will last only till morrow,
and it needn’t be borrowed,
it will be crushed
by our own virtue of being humans?
Now i need to pass this on.I am not sure of how many of you hate humans or at least a few kinds of them.i think i will give it toAyushi,Nikhil and well anyone who wants to do it( i admit i have been passing too many and a lot of you haven’t done the ones which i have passed on ) So am not going to bug you all.