Sachin and the 90’s kids

As Carlsen pulls another one out of the proverbial magic hat, a reporter throws a question to Vishwanathan Anand about Sachin. Frankly a very silly thing to do, when a fellow has just battled for  about 5 hours and lost it for seemingly a single error. But what it does bring to light though, is the story of a generation for whom a guy with a short stride forward and push through the covers did more than anyone else, a guy on whose shoulders they let the weight of their expectations rest, An atlas of sorts; and he held it.

The praises and the tears flow much like an overflowing river, perhaps to touch the feet of this cricketing god, or so it would seem. This country loves to worship, loves to throw it all in, to gamble its emotions and let the stars do their bidding. On a little man, for years, it gambled all that it could, and in some measures it was repaid. Personal hopes and unfulfilled dreams were left in a blissful abeyance, as he shooed away those miscreants who dared impose their presence on his bright side screen. As the little red cherry was wistfully driven away to the fence, at a Perth, at a Wacca or at a Lords, the fellow drove the placid to tears.

The story isn’t really about cricket, or golf for that matter, or curling. The story is about how a boy who as grew into a man came to define a generation. How a name could turn penury into a few seconds of ecstatic bliss. It doesn’t matter, how he did it, rather what he did for those who pledged their hours to wristy cuts leaves an emotional footprint to be fossilized for a couple of centuries, at least. He might have stood against wall, he might ridden plaintively in quiet determination through those years when games were supposedly thrown away at a price, but that night he flicked away an Akram at Sharjah or the day he swept away a Warne at MCC was enough for the nation to taste its heart, sweaty, greasy, but still hopeful.

This is the story of a boy who caught the tails of television, of live telecast and the clever commentary of a certain Bhogle. With him they could let their dreams seem bigger than they were, feel a bit more whimsical about life in general, even while at the other end a Dravid slowly worked a boring reality of sorts, grinding the willow, adding flying bits of the leather to a grassy top. This is the story of a man of not merely stats, but of the unstated. A man whose dash across the 22, seemed to solve more problems than yatras did.

This is the story of the generation(s) who were ready to give their hearts and years, who coveted happiness and instead found joy unbound in those fleeting moments. None shall be able to the same- because with the little master of unbroken dreams retires that fleeting love affair. Talent, ability and achievements are elements, yes, but more than that, to sate belief through darkness and to sally hope through foggy yearnings is a task of a different order.

None shall be the same, because that generation has now grown up. The romance has already been written and now shall be allowed to while away till it acquires that particularly lovely tint that old books do. The generation gambles no more, but sullies in thought of days ahead. Maybe it would find a hero, but she shall be of a different sort. The story it wants to write is no more romantic, but of bravery, boldness and unflinching strength. That is how it wants to be seen, and for that it will hunt far and wide, peering deep into its own musty soul.

As the masala moves along, this story ends with a national award, which till date has been reserved for life time achievers, the rulers and their friends. In a sense, the script has been worked wonderful, with shades of the 90’s even. In this, shall the generation recount its tryst with star-dust, with the same gusto reserved for certain stars, a la Rajanikanth.

While not a fan of the game or the player, leaving aside records, contributions, controversies, what strikes me as an observer, is the emotional impact Sachin Tendulkar had on a whole generation which grew up watching him in their little screens. 

Hullaballoo in the country

We love our country and there can be no doubt about our nationalism , in fact in the concrete jungle you and me live in,we love it so much,that all we do is take those vagabonds of democracy as a daily factor. Why wouldn’t it be? After all we are more bothered about “soft-ware”  and our OS,but when a Virus does infect we might realize it is time to get a good anti-virus.Anyway these are the things which had their two paise of thought-value, i.e. which caused the proponent , paradigm persuader in me to surface during my exams.

-I can vouch for my city. Those on two wheels have no sense.In a jam packed traffic jam,you can find these heroes “fly” much like their namesakes in ads and block the opposite lanes ; Maybe their logic is based on the sumptuous ideology of “equality” which very few people understand anyway. Oh! and to add to that,how about this,they try to ape the anorexic curves of their revered feminine leads by meandering around cars and buses, causing the drivers of those  to brake over and over again,hmm..how will the traffic move? You know all it takes to get your lisence,is five hundred rupees.

And I should add ,they don’t have any respect for such things as  “one ways” , ” no U turns” etc etc.And our famous Auto drivers,well they are from another planet, Chennai is not complete without them and their “Madras Tamil”.

So I started of with something not important at all. And you can’t blame me.There is so much happening around,that you fail to realize that this is one country.

-In a porous and beguile corner of the country, a politican  went about haranguing his affiliation to 80% of the population. And with all sincere sinistral anti-secular chauvinism he raved about the power at his disposal. He is standing for elections you see and the likes of Hitler came to power after such critical acclimation isn’t it?  He is a victim according to his own palpable pride ,whether he is  or not, the election commission cannot do anything about it,they can’t ban him,even he was,what would be the difference? Remember the ban on smoking? 

-Apparently we live in a country,where seats are fought for. A political music chairs ensued and every party and every member wants a chair,they all are running literally, fueled by the Omnipresent media and their bulletin tunes . Personally I would like to see Congress in power,mainly because the “others” seem to be too…,too….well fill it up. And well a politician should be a called a politician.

-And talking about election the nation is all jagoore and 49-O . No I am not trying to say don’t use it,but you are using it to what purpose? Who cares about your vote? Come on ,you have a television set,they have IPL for you,live from England or SA ,go watch that,a convenient agreement.

From photoshopped

-Yup they call it the Indian Premier League. And rightly so,we send it to the isle this year,the isle from where it came.The sad thing of course is that,they would be competing with football.I know a few who are members of fan clubs ,now there goes your money,go fight like those people on MTV shows for your money back. And I don’t like cricket anyway. Taking in the fact that the football season is at its tail end,people would care more about their football teams than the cricket ones ( Arsenal shall win the FA and the champions league I tell you!)

-There was a spectacle over a pair of old spectacles. Apparently that particular pair will cure all addicts of their alcoholism and proliferate down to the prop-a-ganged masses and make the cities all clean and white. I think they would erect the statue of the father of communal-ism here(who ever he is) and also the patron of corruption,surely we are sinners if we don’t? 

There is of course a lot more,when I say lot,hell of a lot more. But then NEWS now days,is really fast that,even terrorists are finding to get their full fifteen minutes of fame. And all this makes me wonder,what is this reality? I maybe an Idealist(my next post is about that) but I am sure who knows the reality. This person seems to be( do read the blog,amazing stuff).

We of course had the horrorscope and the stamp scam stamped away. An update on something more closer to home,YU! has woken up at last ,do participate.

And now I will go back to questioning myself about my blog’s ever depreciating authority,if only this was a Vols it would ” depreciation for now,Appreciation forever”(or something like that,I like that ad).

P.S: Thankfully I used the spell check.It seems in the past two weeks,my spellings have taken a new induction to the retro me.

P.P.S:- This is my attempt to improve i.e., keep it short and be more gracious in using punch-u-nations.

queen of cards,chelsea manager,orange-green and thinking cap-cartoons

 

 

From photoshopped

From photoshopped

From photoshopped

 

Don’t these two colours look good together?

From photoshopped

Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 3!(spoof)

And the voice on the other end,chirped,”yeeeeyaaa!Thondi raja!You have been selceted to perform in the Thondi Idol!”.The king,went ablaze,he jumped and he danced and started to sing,” Oh,want to have a thondi just  like this? Just eat all you have…oh! want to have a thondi just like this…”,The old man with the beard,gave a “I told you so” smile,whitened,by a secret formula,approved by the shamen and the head priest of thondi.

Ops,if you haven’t read part 2 yet then read it here.

 

The king replied to the voice,”Sure,I am honoured and since I sent away our star singer,Himesh,there is no competition for me,though there is this blogger called Vimal,ha did he qualify?”.

“Yes he did and we would be honoured,if you as the king do the thondi dance,to the song,”thondis don’t lie” “.

Even more delighted,”wow,now I need a partner..,when is it? “.And replied the voice ,all earnest and young ” You have plenty of time,oh!the world record holder for eating the most number of bhadushas(bhadushas are Indian donout,though it should be the other way about.),to put on some weight and get ready for the dance.All the best your highness,TC.”

 

As the call ended,the king turned around and thanked the smiling man with the beard.The man with the beard responded,” This is the secret of  Bush to get elected for the second term,the secret of Paris Hilton,to be so slim and Tony Blair,to lie so much and oh! your highness,this will always keep you fat! You are indeed the pride of thondi! Now I think you should go back,take a pack of Sambar with you.

“I will  also teach you the code to return here,but remember this is not web 2.0,no twitter,no stumble,no orkut,no facebook,just keep it to yourself,keep saying it until,you know it like the moves of your favorite heroine or like a kid who watched DD in the 90s,knows the dialogues of Mahabaratha and Ramayana”.

“OH! my fine old man,I understand.I will not give it to anyway,least of all NTTV and I will keep the travelling charges out of my books ,my accountant doesn’t know accounts anyway,he learned the trade at PWC and gets a hefty salary,anyway he is busy, he is appearing as a market analyst in one of those channels called NTTV Loss.And some how,the KTIAA(Kingdom of Thondi Accountants Association) don’t know what to do with him.I could have him thrown to the lions,but unfortunately,the lions,seem to be influenced by our Health minister,maybe,I should make the Rambodoc,from the wonderful blogging world,as the health minsiter.”

“Oh!king whatever.It is time to go.” The man with the beard, then again placed a stone,measured his steps,compained and hit the Ronaldo style free kick.The stone feel into the Magical Sambar river and they were back.

And as they came out of the forest,a guard came running,” Breaking news oh! king,Sathyam boss,just quit.It seems he had doctored the books.”

 “Ha,you fine young man”,the king patted the man on his shoulder,”it is late news,if you want the full story,start blogging,as it is ,you don’t do any work,except,taking bribes from the beggars,to keep the big guards away.I tell you go,I will give you some money,eat ,get a thondi,don’t cheat and read blogs all day long.Otherwise,I will soon start being the “sources within” for the NEWS channels.”

“Oh!king,I am sorry,no,I do blog,but the feeds arrived a little late.Rather I was watching videos on youtube and forgot all about blogging.”

“Ha ,I am feeling hungry,run along”. The king turned to the minsiter who had arrived.”What happened to the Israel bombings?” 

The minister hesitated and confessed,”My brain was struck!”.

The king laughed out loud and beamed,” LOL,now that is a good minister.What a country,no wonder,we have pertol workers going on a strike etc.If we have such wonderful ministers!Now,you are going to get stuck,I am going to send you to the rehab,no comupters for five months.And remember to shave your hair.Of course we will give you a chalk.”

And so the king walked along,majestic as always.He took out his PDA(again gifted).And grunted,”Ha,this Microsoft,it is always getting hung.I thought they didn’t have capital punishments.”And at that moment,an apple,feel from the sky..

Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 2!(spoof)

Read part one here.

 

The king once informed,was elated.He gave his wonderful ministers a treat in the Taj,near the Gateway of  Thondi.While eating an exotic fifty course meal,he was informed,that the lady in question was angry and was planning to sue the king of thondi in the international court of justice,for using her name.Confused and perplexed,the king,had a second helping of each dish.

The great Thondiraja,returned to his court.He knew the only way to help cool a person who lived in the artic(almost),was to send a “hot” gift.The singer Himesh would have been useful,but unfortunately he was in England.The sight of the latest AK 74,caught his eyes.What better gift,to give a person? After all the cold might get to her head and she might need something to help.He would send her some wine from his vineyards in France and a few guns.

The minister was summoned and told to write a letter,intricately describing,the beauty of American culture and their wonderful screaming music.The minister being a financial genius,praised the wall street businessmen and their slyly tactics.The letter was then sprayed with the latest deo from axe.The wine and the letter were shipped to the Arctic.A couple of days later,he received a mail from the lady and that she was impressed.

The king didn’t not like this at all.The queen should be more terrifying,so terrifying that the devil’s of interviews should cry and wish to be exported to some country.The king sent her a CD of Suprabatham and wished her long life.

After all the hullabaloo the king,was tired and wanted some real romance.So before parading his fleet of concords to another country and hunting a lady,he wrote a post on his blog condemning the air strikes by one country on another.This way the ministers would be kept on their toes and they would not eat too much,get a heart attack and die forcing him to return early.

At the airport,while he was about to board his plane,in a rather filmy style,an old man with a long beard and a sitar appeared.It would be blasphemy not to give a full account of what happened,so the actual conversation which took place:-

King Thondi:-Who are you? I am off to find a wife,so unless you have a daughter,you can talk.Since that is unlikely,move out of way of I shall crush you.

The man with the bread:- Oh wise one,my name would not be needed here.But I am the man who can offer you solace.

King Thondi:-Solace,Quantum of Solace? I didn’t like the movie.That fellow looked older than you,old man.And i would have been a better hero.I don’t talk to people without names,so be fast,i don’t want to waste the tax payer’s money by keeping the planes running!

The man with the beard:-

My father’s name is Bhrama

and my fav line is Narayana.

Krishna’s best friend was Sudhama,

Narayana Narayana,

from the Himalaya to Kumari,

From Ganga to Kaveri,

I am the sage who has fun

All the while on the run-

I am Narada.

Or at least,i played the part in Doordarshan.So call me that.Anyway I too pay taxes,so follow me oh! great king,who can eat the enitre universe,please follow me,I shall get you a wife.

King thondi:-Ha interesting,now I can Identify you,the bread has changed you.A queen? Who is she? Is she hotter than Shakira? Can she dance? Can she sing? Oh! you great Narada? 

The man with the bread:-By the merc your father gave me,yes she is way way better,follow me.

And so the king ordered the planes to be shut.He wouldn’t have lost,after all the fuel prices ha come down.He then  followed the man with the beard.

They entered the forests,the king held his gun ready,there were rumors that a pink panther was moving about.But the man with the bread,motioned him to put the gun down.And then,like Ronaldo,measuring a free kick,the man with the bread,measured 5 steps talked to a tree,complained that the bushes had grown too fast and ran and smacked a near by stone.The stone bounced of another tree,enraged,he took it on the volley and this time hit went over the tree and landed some distance away in a small pond.

The scenery changed.There in the middle of what seemed to be a heaven in earth,was a river.But instead of water,sambar flowed.The king was stunned,why he didn’t know the Sambar river went through Thondi,he thought it was only a myth.

He then realized it was another world,a world with a world.And at that moment his phone rang.The Sambar magic began.

TO BE CONTINUED…

The absurd list(its not just another list)

I have never been made any new year resolutions,after all isn’t it better to get to the solution at the first attempt then the re-solution? Hmm..does sound like a whole bunch of nonsense,but the title gurantees abusrdity,to the Nth degree of an indefinite line(whatever that is).So let me make this wonderful list,which made a sally and haunted me,till I resolved to write this post.

And since this is absurd,don’t factor in time here.The probability of these things,is perfectly elasitic (or inelastic) ,i.e.,one/all of the thing mentioned in the list might  happen within the next second(it hasn’t) or when I am senile old man,with false teeth,asking my grandson/great great grand daughter,how to use some new machine,which probably would be made by a guy who flunked LKG.So lets get to this wonderful list.

+- Publish a book.Until recently this found a place in the to do list.I moved it out (into this list) ,after reading a few famous books.While it is possible for any Ramaswami/Sighania/Tom who happens to write about some “teeny” love story to sell,what i write will never sell,unless,I grow a beard and have a six pack or a big belly.

+- Play football for Arsenal/Barca/Wolfsburg.Not that I would turn down an offer from some other club.But these are my favs in the respective leagues.But considering the fact that 16 years in the age at which most Arsenal player’s start their carrer,I am too old.So that leaves Barca and Wolfsburg.One has too many good players and the other,hmm…I just don’t speak German(nor Spanish).So there ends my football millions before my first Nike deal(please buy the shirt with my name and #7 or #9 on it).

+-Make a movie with Jonny Depp,Amir Khan and Kamal Hassan with Heath Ledger as the villian( Jack Sparrow shall take us to world’s end to bring back the villain!).The ladies shall be Deepika and Priyanka and for the sake of my wonderful friends Jessica Beil.You will not be able to guess who is Amir,Jonny and Kamal,until the last scene(they will be look alike triplets).So that leaves a female lead short,no there shall be no Pandava style sharing,one of them will find a lady drowning and rescue her(the lady shall be Kamal and the man shall be Kamal,a double roll,he does deserve,after all he did manage to do 10!).

+-Create world peace.If only master card could by world peace.But apparently,they too are going to go bankrupt soon,people came to the conclusion that buying priceless things was the best way to utilize their unlimited credit facility.And of course,thanks to too much of inflation,peas costs are high,that’s why countries use nukes.Or we can use the bottled chemicals aka soft drinks,the only thing soft about them might be that they use soft water,which 5 star hotels sell above the MRP.

+-Come first in something(except being first to reach school).This is something which has evaded me.I never manage to come first in anything(or rather,I forgot the last time,I came first in something).So time to get the aces-4 aces and a joker,will ensure I win.Though the probability is pretty low.

+-Go and visit,every square millimeter of earth.Going on a world tour,has become too common and journey to center of the earth,has already been done.So before Guinness runs out of records,let me create this one.I shall start soon.(Apparently,my great grandfather used to walk everywhere and I want to add to that,no joking, I am serious about this,though this is in the absurd list.)

+-Become the PM/president of the country.I think being a president would be more fun.You know,going on a holiday,when the country is getting bombed,how romantic.PM means,you can get kicked out of office anytime,but no one cares about the president,the roadies wouldn’t know your name nor would the people watching it.

+-Listen to all of Beethoven,Tchaikovsky,Rachmaninoff and other classics.

+- Compose some music.

+- Write an anthem,which would be more popular that another brick in the wall.

+- Build the world’s largest ,tallest,biggest and the best building.I am searching for some land,so if any of you are selling,hold on,let me make some money and i will buy it from you soon.

+- Invent something,anything.Let it be some weird theorem or something super useful like orkut(please don’t tell me you don’t get this one).

+- Make everyone in the world think.By far the most absurd.As long as MTV is what people watch,there is no hope.

+-Make this blog the most read.Hmm…thanks for contributing to this,by reading this far 😀 

+- Write something short.(  🙂  ) 

+- Create a new language.

+- Or at least a world and make it more widely used that fuck.

+- Finish writing takes of thondiraja.

+- Try to remember all the absurd things.

So now I am going to add tags.I am not entirely happy nor are my ardent readers,at me writing such nonsense.But unlike my senselessness grapevine( wouldn’t you all prefer wine?) stories,there is more of heart and thought in this.It should actually be longer,but considering the fact,that I want to eat something,I cut this short.

Now all those of you came here,through a search engine,keep visiting me.I am not capable of cashing in,on the vogue,day in and day out.After all,before pink returns,we might have more people with pink slips and Indians talking without a an American accent(ya,we all know its fake,unless you were born there).

I like this word- macabre.And funnily enough the wordpress spell check,is pointing out that the word blog doesn’t exist,that shouldn’t be happening right,Mark?

And since,this is long enough,to not welcome comments,the post ends here.I shall respond to the comments,on the older posts soon,so don’t leave without commenting!

Just a thought,why do we never begin conversation with good night,like with good morning and good afternoon?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!(a short poem)

Another round around the sun,

A year of many things,366 days just seem to run.

From the olympics to Euro ’08

Its like watching a F1 race.

From Nadal to Phelps,

Sports has never had it,this well.

 

Even while a few went pink,

A few others had to fight,without a blink.

Even as winters came , fare,

The markets went bare,

And terrorism,made life sad.

Even so,in a fortuitous haste,

Life went on,with the right pace.

 

As the moon shines,

And the clocks tick twelve,

We all shall put back the year

Into memory-

The past is history;

And move along into the mystery-

Of a new year-dreams and fantasy.

 

More and more to look forward to,

More innovations and discoveries are due.

As many new unknowns come along,

We all will try to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

So,

So long and Fare well to 08,

Rise a toast to the year that was,

Now time to put back the losses

And for  a few bad bosses.

Peace let us hope shall prevail

And together let us all hail,

The new year,2009,

Everything shall be fine!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

The light shines the brightest

A subway full of water

   

From mobile photos!

A subway full of water.This is the subway opposite Pothys(can you see the building?) .Lovely isn’t it.My area is an island.Thankfully my street is better off than most places.Except the 14 hour power cut,there have been no other problems,oh of course  i forgot the mosquitoes who tried to sing a lullaby.I didn’t have the heart to kill such talent,so i bore it all night long.

 

From mobile photos!

Above are Auto drivers of Chennai,huddled up,discussing the situtation.The subway is after all one of the cities most used.”T-nagar traffic jam aa”,is one of the most popular statements in Chennai.

From mobile photos!

Swimming anyone?The dirtest water you shall find anywhere on earth,baring the koovam and Adyar,both of ’em by the way have breached their banks i heard.

From mobile photos!

And so a few people who were too bored by the power cut(and the autodrivers of the near by stands) decided to play some cricket to entertain themselves.You can a mini river falling into the lake.

From mobile photos!

From mobile photos!

Yup who told you,cricket needed a big ground to play?So what if the English team has run away after a 5-0?We will send these local players.They are capable of adapting to any condition anywhere.Now that is adaptability!

From mobile photos!

the seven cardinals of living

Understanding:-Without understanding something you cannot think, act or do anything about it.While most creatures exist ,without attempting understand anything around them,understanding is the most important first step in life.Maturity comes with better understanding of your surroundings,you know how to act and how to respond.Without this humans beings are just another specie among many which we discover every other day.Understanding includes listening ,seeing,feeling etc i.e.,what we acquire through our senses.Our senses as we all know,are the receptors through which we get input.

 

Dreaming:-A canvas’s beauty lies in the perception of the viewer.Life is the canvas and we are the ones,who paint it.While our body is the brush,our thoughts are the painter.And the thoughts always reflect upon our dreams-our goals,our aspirations and most of all,the place where we think,we belong.

 

Thinking:-The quintessence of an human being.While a many(few?) claim that it just disappoints and they prefer the pragmatic,they fail to see that to get the practical straight you need conclusions,theories and most of all belief.Thinking gives you one thing -confidence,which nothing can else can give.Thoughts are the bricks or the recogonisable form of your painting ,which together when painted will  make your painting real.

Playing:-The reason while this figures here simple, “all work and no play ,makes Jack a dull boy”, (which by the way Indian school’s don’t agree with) is a conclusion drawn by someone and it is quite true.It is not just about giving your muscles exercise,it is more about letting your creativity flow.Games like Football,work not only for the body,but also causes you to express your thoughts.Also we need to play along with various theories and put to the lab test while we play.

 

Meditating:-Nope,not sitting on the bank of some holy river.Meditating,is simply letting your mind flow.In this respect playing is meditating too and dreaming is also meditation.While we are always bound by the chains of belonging, meditating,is the way we can escape and be ourselves.When we belong,we tend to reflect what others think.We all are influenced,always,by something or the other.So it is important to see what exactly has affected us and to understand why and also see ourselves as what we really are.Again i repeat,meditating is letting your mind flow.It is just amazing to see,how we acquire information and draw conclusions.Once we understand that,the whole universe is within our reach.

 

Creating:-The 6th cardinal of living.Every step we take,we create and destroy.It is very important,to understand and know,what we are creating and what we  are destroying.Destruction in itself is inevitable.We should destroy the old buildings and erect new and stronger ones.But burning buildings which are strong and serve their purpose,is malice ,terrorism.We terrorize our very existence and its purpose.Creation is something which humans essentially are, by nature supposed to  be indulging in.Creation is the way of pleasure and existing for us. We can create when we have done all of the above-understanding,dreaming,thinking,playing and meditating.true creation is an expression of our belief.Creation is the end result of the choices we have made in life.

 

Preserving:-Preserving includes two things,one is to preserve and the other is to build upon.While we can split this cardinal into two,it functions as one.For what we have created is truly preserved only when we build upon it.A simple example,is once we create a business,we need to build upon it to preserve it.And to preserve,we need to follow the the first six cardinals again.It is very important to preserve-we need to learn what we have done.We need to make sure our base remains strong and lasts long,if it becomes weak,we need to remove the whole structure.

 

Conclusion:-While i have not gone into details,these seven-Understanding,dreaming,thinking,playing,meditating,creating and preserving are something which we all go through.I haven’t included “working” for the simple fact,work just sounds too labored and thought less.These are not really conclusions,these are thoughts which have struck me and I am merely experimenting,playing with them to test their feasibility.As you can see,these are not religious thoughts,but if you reduce the teachings of  various religions you will find these are what you will arrive at.Discipline is something  which arises naturally.You cannot violate your own consciousness ,if you are aware of it.

I exist because I think.

the light shines the brightest

maths marks

From photoshopped

From photoshopped

From photoshopped