A Rant.

Yes,yes I am CA student. A new transformation has possessed me. Nerds watch out, I have decided to take this up. Oh! wait I have not. Go on, go on. You know I won’t get anywhere close to you. Simple because, I have a brain, which has drunk philosophy and embraced the Utopian dreams.

See that is how you can suck away the optimism. Now I am scrutinizing my English as I write, so do spare me, for a lack of zest. I haven’t been reading or listening to good English, thanks to the my exam preparations. I must admit though, that reading all that makes me feel wiser.

Actually I am really really wise. But no one is going to give a damn about wisdom. If you have wisdom, go and give advise to young things, they need to sleep. See what can you do then? When kings don’t listen to prophets and philosophers, empires shall be doomed from the North. If you do listen, you will find a beautiful maiden from the East.

But be warned, since ye doth not hears the saws of the wise one, doom awaits you. My head is not working properly. I lack the veer and swerve to write anything. I seem to be short of words. If not for Bones(ya the T.V. show) I might be a scarecrow by now.

I seem to appreciate humour which I usually never liked. The “peter” has turned into Jack, but there are no sparrows, only crows. Truthfully, I don’t really like all these laws and stuff. Yet.

No, I don’t mean I am going to start loving the subjects from tomorrow. I want to be a writer. But all that is happening is that whatever little the Muses gave me,  seem to be  getting screwed by legal requirements, taxes and laws. And the only bird I have seen for a while is Twitter.

So I think, I want to become an actor now. Come on I can act, alright! But ya ya, life is a disappointment in so many ways. Oh! the throes and tribulations! What does time decree anyway?

I am being too frank, maybe? I do wish, I can do something more. I feel stuck. I am not the sort of fellow, who is used to studying. Expectations, but they do exist. I wish, I existed a century or so before. I could have written words which would have stirred revolutions and stuff. Cool, I mean, kids would be reading about me and memorizing my poems and cursing me.

Or I might have been a saint or something. Wisdom and Bhakti sallying on command. The Gods’ dances and confusion would have been interpreted properly and maybe, I would have stopped Communalism and the other dirty works by putting some sense into few certain heads.

See I think too much. Maybe it is my imagination that spoils things for me. Maybe, I should be a narrow-minded ass. But, my education consisted of reading books, blogs and learning to see the world, think and appreciate stuff. Too much, I guess, for petty reality.

Or I should try becoming a rowdy. No need to worry about the law, about money etc etc. Waaaaat Machi? No, that sound like me. What can I do anyway? I am walking on a knife edge, or so it seems. I feel out of place. See I have grown a lot in the last year or so. Specially with respect to moving with people and all.

I have accepted that I am either going to be loved or hated and some how everyone notices me, where I go. Then I meet a few people and again I start hoping, but maybe I should wear broken glasses and see the vilified nature of men. But I am an idiot, I can’t. Can someone teach me?

I should stop now, or my emotions will take over. This blog, after all is open to everyone. See when you hide something, everyone wants to know. Have no secrets and no one will look, just let everyone know everything and they will be confused as to what you are anyway. They don’t get it that you are you.

See it is better to talk about abstracts glossed in metaphors. No one understands all that. It becomes like a code, which very few understand. I think, I will stop here. Thank you for reading. Pour some wisdom into me, but none which preaches common sense 😛

Random

Yup I have concluded the world needs a damn good spanking . Not because I have become older than a million year old fossil or as old as the sea by listening to all the very knowledgeable and very young senior citizens or my lecturers or teachers or whatever in my class but more so  becuase nothing seems to a make sense. Actually I might have become old , maybe that is why I haven’t written anything for so long . It would have been so nice to call this a ‘ come back post ‘ but i didn’t go anywhere. 

Here we are after so many years of Independence and funnily enough no one cares about the thing which the country needs -education . Instead we have a whole bunch of nonsense like people claiming that they can bring back some money stashed away in a Swiss bank . Oh! ya what happened to reservations ? Why hasn’t anyone used that yet? Is it because it is out of fashion ? 

Or maybe we are so screwed , that we are now going to talk about our neighbouring countries . NO I am not saying we should close our eyes , but how cheap is it trying to profit as the cost of someone else ? And while talking about reservations , I think the only people now discriminated are the creamy layer and the  ‘upper castes’ . So how about that thing called equality ? I thought you want to be a super power ?  

Well forget it . . The NEWS channels call it the IPL( they say the Indian political league , I call it Indian Pooruki League ) and well cricket sucks anyway .

People are egoistic . Now this Ego is the screwed up thing which everyone calls ego . No my fine readers I am not becoming a human , though this dust allergy makes me sound like a Egyptian Mummy speaking Malayalam . 

See when did I start ranting ? I want to watch Noddy . Not that I saw it when I was a kid . We used to get only DD then (see I can tell that too , I am old ) . But well if you leave me , I might watch teletubbies right now . And my rant isn’t constrained to this alone , it goes on and on …Infact I didn’t want to write anything , wanted to write something pretty , which will get me  comments such as “you didn’t put a full stop” or “you used too many smileys” , but then I don’t really care . If I haven’t read your blog in a while don’t tell me . It probably has too much of politics . I have read a few damn good posts , not writing about them because don’t feel like giving the links . 

I hope this reveals how lazy I can get . I got that domain for the fun of it . Now  I have 59 subscribers here , hope this increases , because I am damn materialistic and the fact that I can’t have my therapy now (retail therapy) irritates me more . 

So before I start into a mile long rant…TC… nothing funny , if you have read till this better comment . And I am not going to add lots of tags , I am bored . Going to go and watch the clouds.

Humans?(ranting and ya i warn you,don’t read this)

I live among humans alright.Yes human,humans alright.But how many of them are really themselves? For the past three days my frustration has been building up .Are humans trying to survive by just killing people with their attitudes? Please , i just can’t stand it! The masks!

I understand we all need to cover up our insecurity and maintain our privacy,but for that you don’t hurt others.Well if you think this too normal think again.It is not just a ‘few’,it is almost everyone!I mean i just can’t stand it,no one seems to be talking anything worthwhile.Stupid PJs,blasphemous swearing (by god,I am bugged of ’em,the words have lost their meaning,i mean if every second person is going to scream f*** ,no one si going to get insulted,the word’s meaning is buried,very rarely does one even bother reminding himself,that the word has a meaning!) I admit, i too swear,in fact i will say it just caught with me.But i don’t use it on people who get offended by it.Anyway leaving that apart,I think everyone is becoming fake.i mean everyone is in a mad rush,no one has time to think why they are alive.

While i might be an extraordinary creature who is always thinking about life,i don’t know why people cannot think of themselves for a minute? I mean not in terms of what they are going to be but why they exist.I get ridiculed,nagged,jacked and whatever day in day out for the way i think. Well i think people have given up on me,yes they have,many ignore me,i spend a lot of time alone,like some lost bard,in an alien land,observing everyone as if they were specimens whom i am doing a poetical thesis on.

I am looking for aliens,seriously.I mean,my kind are almost done for.No one can manage to talk with me for more than 10( that is the record i guess,most for a couple ).I mean the times of nice long con have gone(well as if i ever had them).Well ya so i am searching for aliens like i have been for the past 13 something.I have found a few,with whom i have shared a few good moments,then of course i have my human friends,who are a bit different,the reason being,they don’t care for anything.

But anyway i am drifting off topic,well what was i planning to write on anyway? I mean i was supposed to write on fake people or people with masks or something of the sort.But then i have generalized a lot by telling ” I HATE HUMANS” .Ya no i am going to tell i love a few(they do exist don’t worry,but i don’t want to taint this post with happiness and love) i mean to say i hate them from my heart.Well not something you might expect me to write about.But make no mistake about it,i am not a hypocrite.I do believe in live and let live and love all but rad all my poems on unity,there will be something which be like ” we should try ” or ” if we can”.I do try very hard,but then i can’t stand them.It is nice to meet people with out their mask.So now you get it,i hope.i am talking about the masked strangers in humanity(i am reminding myself again,you see it is tough fro me not get carried away when i write on humans) .After all if a person is truly “evil”(ya well….whatever),then i don’t mind,i mean they are after all meant to be.But then for the in betweens,who aren’t sure if they want to be a pirate or a swear on the sand virtue filled,humanity bogged,pathetic being(well lets say normal).Now Again i think i am making a “negative character look good.Ha well i like the bad better,after all it takes more to be bad then good.But anyway what is the purpose of living? i mean as a society we have to “share” our lives.So why not drop your dumb unwanted mask and be yourself? That doesn’t mean fall on the shoulders of every second person you meet and cry,why can’t you just accept that the person in front of you too is alive and well has “feelings” and is a creature with a heart,mind and god forbidden soul? i hate it.

Well i haven’t progressed much,the i am tired and pissed off,but at least i didn’t go acting “cool”.The weird thing is,people find me it tough and well even scary to accept me.i mean might be the fact that i always look at thing differently and well might be the fact(should i send this to everyone i know?) ,well i don’t know.i have tried answering it and i am not going to get humanized whatever happens,even if i have to die being an alien i am happy.

Hm…again i went off.That is my main problem i guess.If i start writing anything “human” i get carried away.i have found it tough,weird,strange,unreasonable,purposeless to live among humans.I am not hapy to be one among the hoard,i prefer to be the capitol which gets bombed first(well ya ,ya i can’t stand others getting hurt) .i seriously am thinking back,seriously,retrospecting into the short 16 years of my life.It is almost over,i mean i am going to become 17,soon.What have become as an human? I had plans for my birthday,but don’t feel like going with it, why honor people ?Well i am very fit about calling only my closest frineds,but then why do that too? Ok this turing into more of a rant,so guess i will stop.

And iam not going to read back and edit,no time for that you see.and no pics too,don’t feel like it,this is a rant and well no authentication required 🙂

ya keep smiling,if you can 🙂 It does you good 🙂

THE TRUE INDIAN

GOOOOOODDDD MORRRNNNINGGGGG blogosphere.

note:- the following post is unedited,i.e. i haven’t re-read it.So you might encounter a few spelling and grammatical errors,i suggest you ignore them,or well you are wasting your time commenting on them 😀

Well i just felt like saying good morning.duh 😀 I just feel like laughing a lot right don’t why.Might be the fact,well no clue.i am still trying to find out why>it is funny that i am in a good mood today,because yesterday,i almost dis-owned the human race!And yes i am going to lament ,in detail what happened yesterday,NO LAUGHING PLEASE!!!

It was just like any other day,the morning routine,of waking up and going to school went on.In school i slept through economics(i think this time seriously did,for i thought we had,had only 10 minutes of economics,but my friends told me we had an hour of it! *sigh*) and then we had a couple of periods free,during which ,being the most insane class in the world,we all started bugging each other.The highlight was a fight between P and R(R had flunked last year and was repeating 11th,but was in my class since there were no teachers and his *gf* was there).P had called him a junior and they got into a fight,*get the point*),well it wasn’t actually much of a fight,but it would have been fun,at least,the 70 bucks which i later payed for the auto would have been compensated.) After the short break we had math,since i sit in the first row and also since my maths teacher knows i usually just like that drop into a siesta,i couldn’t sleep.On the brink of a semi-sanity,i kept mumbling through the class,trying to make sense of it all( i.e. of life and what was i doing there).

Well the bad part is about to start,should i or should i not?

After math,we were allowed to go home! I rushed out,and bingo in the basket ball court,we had football! So after all the usual delays about teams and stuff,we began to play.I set up one goal(we ended up losing or winning 3-2,forgot which),but in the process i hurt my shin(took a full blood back heal).And once the game was over, i started walking,once i outside the school,my usual search for autos began.*it has begun* . i found no auto even after i had made it to the main road(about .5-1 km,it varies you see).Still no autos.So i decided it was time i caught a train. I walked another (.7-1 km) to the station and go to the ticket counter( i take out a 10 buck note and push it through the counter):-

me:- oru mamblam(one mamblam:- one ticket for mamblam)

the counter guy(tcg):- change illa(no change).i am pretty irritated tone.

i let a couple of people go,and saw that he had the change,so i again go and ask.he tells the same thing again,now i told him hell keep the ten bucks,just give me a ticket!He again says no,i tell him give me two tickets,still no! All this for a 4 buck ticket! I was getting damn irritated and thirsty!So i decided to ask a few people if they had change.And no one had any! So without wanting to start a fight9 i knew i will never get anything out of it,so i start walking again,i am damn pissed,i have no clue about bus roots,and also i knew i had to change buses somewhere,i was in no mood for that.I walk about 2 Kms( i asked for change,outside station too,but in response they asked if i had change for hundred.My water bottle had dried up and at about 40 degree Celsius it was no joke,especially since i hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at 7( and for the first time in 5 years i didn’t wear my watch,is didn’t know what time it was).i at last found an auto(but the guy asked me for 70 bucks for the next 3-4 Kms(there was an auto strike yesterday ,against the rise in fuel prices,and i didn’t know that until i reached home).I had two options either to walk the 3-4- kms or pay the guy,but the above mentioned factors made me feel dizzy,so i took the auto.And i reached home in 10 minutes and payed the guy 70 bucks9 i usually pay 60 from my school).i hate the left parties for the strike ,as i said before i almost dis-owned the human race,guys like Osama and Bush suddenly looked like the the right guys9after the guy in the station).

Phew,so i am not sure why i am happy right now.But mr.Lalu Prasad,it is nice to hear that you have started a blog, i am going to spam your blog with this story! What does your railways think? After all i was in my school uniform.

Now i think i have at last seen a true “Indian”,all these days i was seeing the real good people,but this guy seems to represent the Indian which i haven’t see much except on T.V. But as they say all is well that ends well,to see that my blog had about 50 hits made me smile 😀

Next time i have to go in train,i think the counter guy better watch out,i was in no mood to get witty yesterday,but next time mr. watch out.

This must be one of the longest posts i have written-ever.*sigh* Good old sunday morning. 😀