Inheriting the world- a candid view

February 18, 2010 § 15 Comments

Can we refuse to inherit? No we can’t. Unfortunately.

I am an 18 year, who probably is more sensitive to the world around me than others of my age. When I first heard someone tell me, that my gen. is the hope of the future, I felt happy. That was back then, when I was a 15 year(?) old, when the world seemed a novel place.

Reality(or whatever little of it, i have seen) has a pretty bad influence. Of late, I feel even more pessimistic than usual. Maybe I tend to romanticism too much, but having provided for that, still, the picture looks pretty pathetic.

You see, there are very few who are sensitive to the world in general. And it makes no sense for us(I think I am part of the few), to  just talk among ourselves and discuss. True our India has an “argumentative tradition” (as Sen puts it) but today we no more have rulers who are capable enough of understanding the arguments.

You see, democracy is supposed to empower us. It is supposed to give us voice and supposed to make us a part of the nation. But text books can be pretty misleading(of course if you notice the larger picture, it really isn’t- why are kids supposed to mug? Why are they not given reasons? Marks, teachers, parents, right to talk? hmpf.) and I am sure it has been a pretty sour welcome to reality for many.

Not that I expected anything great.  I set my expectations, as low as possible and yet, things keep hitting new lows. I am doing a professional course and yet I cannot expect professionalism in the institute(I shall keep away from that for now). I go to an esteemed college, where, contrary to the name, there is no Ananda(or a canteen at least to the level of Ananda Bhavan).

See I don’t even need to go to the good parts- politics, global warming, discrimination at various degrees etc. I can choose anything I want and well show you how screwed up it is.

I probably am too tired to write about those many many things which I care about. Now I actually  try to ignore stuff. But I am someone who has learnt to be sensitive to issues. But to what vain?

Inspite of all that, we need to enjoy life. You know what? After a certain while, you get used to these things. Screw expectations, if the system is sucky, you too can make it suck. After all it is just another drop of water. If you want to stand out try adding poison. No one is going to question it. Maybe I am being candid, but hell this is reality, right?

You and me blog and tweet and what not, yet do you think the poachers or the tigers are going to listen to you and me? I do. But I also know they don’t. Do you think the terrorists(of all kinds) give a damn? They have been brainwashed enough. A post, my friend is not going to teach them.

Reality is where you suck up to people and get things done. Hell ya. See thinking of others is a forbidden sin, after all no one gives a damn about you. This is a good old rant, I guess. But I think, I deserve a chance to say these things. And well, seeing the size of the post, I can guarantee myself that most people will see the cartoon and skim through the post and skip to comments, so I can be assured no one is going to give me any sympathy.

Sympathy does us no good. See a fellow sold a movie with sympathy. We are meant to build careers and go on. We enjoy it by having cars/cameras etc. It is better to live in your own shell and wade off invaders. Maybe I should withdraw into mine and not give a hoot, I would love to, but I know I cannot.

I probably care too much. I am trying to learn. But I cannot be a hypocrite. I thought my thoughts were on the right track and maybe they are. But then who cares for what I think? Today we have wonderful people ruling us. I am happy Chennai is a safe city. We hopefully won’t have communal violence here and since it is supposedly conservative, the Senas(or is it padais?) won’t find room here. Try chastising Mylapore and you will been smeared in vibuthi (ash), topped with a namam.

This is another bloody long post. I am happy, I can do this. This goes in line with those conditions apply sort of thing. No one has read it and yet it is out there for everyone to read. This is therapy as well. I feel sort of better. But am still uneasy. After all why do I care? I say I don’t care, yet somewhere in there I care.

I set out believing that the world is good. Now I know the world is good, but the people are too good. I am happy that I have a few friends who can put up with my abject thinking. Abject because, senses and brains are meant for rote learning and yes for feeling pathetic when a person whom you do not know has marked you low.

For those who have been reading my poetry, all this might seem expected. And you probably already know, that I will keep fighting, simply because I am me. Poetry is one of the few joys in this world. IF not for that, I doubt if sanity will ever embrace me.

I recluse to this world, where my thoughts are transformed into unseeable things and spread among humanity in signals. This place is sort of where I belong. But the way I belong to a place never changes- known to everyone, yet very few pay attention. No I am not complaining.

I love to be myself. I find happiness is being me. I know, I know, this has gone out of control. How I wish I had not inherited this world. But hey! at least I should try to make it better for the future right? Peace sounds cool. But you adults are never going to settle for it. After all Europe/Washington is cool enough right? Try Chennai it is hot, you will love it, complete with Molaga Bajji.

Let us face it, all this is too good to be true. We like entertainment. We are selfish. I am- I want to be known in this world. I like to be appreciated and yes I take criticism seriously, because I believe it to be constructive. I think I am a nice guy, especially when you are nice to me. I will do anything for you, as long as I can trust you.

So, whatever. This is a rant, so guess, it ends with a bunch of smileys, showing that all is well. And am not going to edit this. Spellings, grammar and whatever can go hang it self. Carpe diem!

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Something about me

January 24, 2010 § 20 Comments

This probably has become a habit now. Sunday afternoon posts. There is something comforting about it(though it doesn’t fetch many comments). Today I am going to write something about me.

ASPIRE, is the word. Now what do I aspire to be? The way I talk , people think I have it all figured out. So here is the truth- I haven’t figured out anything.

True, I am doing CA(about 100 days to go for the exam *sigh), but well I am not really into the idea of working as one.  I am doing it because otherwise I will be wasting my time with B.Com alone. Of course, not that formal education is going to turn me into Bill Gates.

SO what do I want to be? Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut, but that seems pretty far away, especially since I am in the commerce stream(you can make my day, by telling me, how I can still become one). Some how the idea of flying in an almost surreal world, combined with views of swargaloka(though I had figured out,even back then, that it didn’t exist) , comets and planets, captivated my imagination.

I used to be left to my own devices. In a world of “big kids” and  adults, I usually found day dreaming and imagining more fun. Superman and Spiderman, were never my favorites, simple because they had too much to do with humans. I preferred my own characters and turned even the most mundane object into something awesome.

I used to rearrange chairs and make the nether world beneath tables and beds my cool crafts. In short I wanted to be a superhero, but with another dimension- I wanted to be up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.

Some how I have always felt more comfortable, in my own world. People who know the gregarious me , will be surprised. After all, I keep making friends(and ‘enemies’ so to speak) all the time. But behind that there is that love for being in my own world. And probably that is why, I have never feared any God, as such- I saw the idols as “fun people to play with” and used to think of new wars and stories.

And I used to be shy(The change probably came during the summer of 2007 and of course blogging, but more about it later)- I couldn’t stand being blindfolded(those games at kiddy parties) or being too far away from people I knew. There is a gap of six years between me and my sister, so that probably, added my preference for playing alone.

Building blocks were a strong favourite. I probably would have made will make a very good architect. The scope they offer along with their definite proportions is overwhelming. Only wish I had bigger blocks to build now.

We have a swing at home. And I have never fell down from a swing. For others it might be horses and ponies, for me it is swings.I came up with a variety of polo- cycle polo(among myriad others) The opposition- chairs, tables and anything/anyone in my way.

Imagination changes everything. It gives you a lot of freedom, blank walls become carpets of history and thoughts, the sky holds animals  and people.

I was and still am a very cautious person. I never take on anything head first. I see, I analyse and then act. People around me can make fun of me, but I analysed how to walk on walls way before any of my class mates did, I am sure. Walls offer a great way to practise balance.

Walking around the perimeter of my house and imaging all sort of opponents and ways to fight them. I think I have fallen from a wall, only once, that too, when I tried to get down hurriedly, for some unknown reason but then again, that probably is it. I hate making big mistakes and make sure they never happen again(?).

My judgement is mostly right, because as I said, I never get into something without thinking about it. The only place where my prognosis might be wrong, is here, the blogging world. It still hurts to think that my idea failed to materialise.

I am a bad loser. I cannot stand losing. And yet success in competitions, exams and even sports, has eluded me. I set high standards (probably too high, thanks to being the hero in my small little world) and when the bubble broke, I used to feel very very low.

True to my sun sign, I can very emotional, sensitive, while in fact I seem the contrary. And that has given a sort of “emotional photographic memory”. Colours have always fascinated me(my mom will tell you, that she had to teach me “white”, because I refused to accept white to be white, I am very tenacious) and though I am not all that great at drawing, I like to doodle.

Cricket cards and cricket. I remember the vigour with which we used to collect those things. When I grew older, it was replaced with cards, but it was cricket at least till I was 9-10. The only part of cricket I still like is bowling. I like anything which can be made to act under my spell. Batting is no fun, I probably got no where in cricket, because I refused to play forward defence in my coaching class(much much later).

Watching. Trains, autos, sky, construction etc. Sitting quietly and observing things, is second nature to me. And questioning when I don’t understand is first. While now I can articulate and describe it, back then, I think I understood that a lot of effort goes into it and felt that everything could be figured out. The element here is, that things can be moulded and can fit in.

I am already approaching the 1000 words mark, but these are things which I love to recount. Someone questioned me a few years back(on one of my poems), how can someone so young write such stuff. To me and probably to people who have seen me grow up, it has never been a surprise. I enjoy thinking, watching, observing and most of all creating.

From Drop Box

I started to write much later. But writing is a sum of all those things which I used to love doing, which I cannot do now because of various reasons. It is my shell, where I can hide, it is where I am the hero again and where things cement and mould into each other, the way I want.

The paint will stain the walls in the angles I want and the sky is probably not that high. unlike other kids, I never wanted to be a doctor when I saw one, an engineer or a teacher, I wanted to be an astronaut and I believed it was possible and still do.

I learnt history, tales and fables and politics through my grand dad. That probably is the reason, why I never struggled in social science like others- I knew them already and to me, they were plays being performed in my head. India in my head, was a fantastic idea, it was a passion and something which we fought for and got it. It is our home and we belong here.

Yet time has disrupted that view. More than time, it is people. I still have the belief in my dreams. I still believe India can be much more, India can be the best. But it is the people. And that is the element, which though I understand a lot about, I fail to understand one thing- the need to be caught in a box. Or maybe I am.

But one thing is for sure. What I want to be, What I really want to be , What I really really want to be, is , a writer. And I am one. It doesn’t matter if no one reads what I write. I have always been the hero. The skies and the walls and the chairs and my friends are there for me. That is why I say, I write for myself.

It probably is a wall, erected to block the disappointment of not being what I imagined what I write will bring to me, but it has a door. You can knock, I am waiting.

P.S:- The post should tell you one more thing about me- I can be random and let my thinking cleave it’s own path.

Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 1!(spoof)

December 22, 2008 § 14 Comments

Once upon a time,long long ago,well not so long ago,the kingdom of Thondi was ruled by the great king,the magnanimous,the felicity showering philanthropist Raja Raja Raja Thondiraja.

The reason for the three Rajas preceding his name is the fact that all his forefathers who sat at that crown had the name Thondiraja and he being the fourth ,he had to add his three ancestors name to his.Now it would have been easier to just say Thondiraja the fourth,but being a very superstitious race,they had to consult the temple priest.The priest being a fan of long names,sat down to contemplate the case referred.He knew he the name had to be long,but to call the king anything but thondiraja,would be taken as a kingly sin.So after much thought and endless cups of buttermilk from the royal kitchen,he pretended to consult an almanac and see the distant stars,who at that point,if one had checked could not be seen,thanks to the sun,he came up with the name Raja Raja Raja Thondiraja.

So upon being crowned on an auspicious day(the astrologers dinner ,5 gold coins,the courtesans for him,another 10 gold coins,the arrangements for the function 100 gold coins,the new jewelery and dress designed by Armani 50 gold coins,advertising during Big brother 25 gold coins,Having SRK and a cat in that ad,15 gold coins but the moment was priceless for him, even though he didn’t have a mastercard,he was the master after all) he entered his palace.

The royal musician,Himesh sang his new song, specially composed for the occasion.The new king,couldn’t stand such atrocious music,he knew the old story that,his father wanted to save the subjects from this fellows torture and so had brought him to the court.He felt a need to do something about this fellow.the Raja,thondi raja,sat on the Italian fur mat,checked the time on his swiss watch and pronounced his first verdict-He would send this wonderful singer,as his gift to the queen of England.He had heard she was cost cutting and had sacked her musicians.He told his right hand minister Chidambaram,to write a letter to the honourable lady vindicating his gift.And so the slyly minister took up his pen(which he had flicked from the treasury) and wrote a 6 yard letter,in such colourful words,that the musician in concern,beamed in pride and almost began to sing again.But some how,they managed to get him out before the cacophony(though the word seems small)began again.

Now having lost a musician and knowing that it would take him sometime to import the Germany technology and the American singers,he was left to contemplate how he would pass his time.Glancing again at his time piece(which he didn’t pay for,it was a gift from a Swiss bank,when he deposited his gold) he decided to summon the court dancer.He clapped his hands twice and a guard appeared.He was about to give him the order,when he noticed that the guard looked familiar.And like a forest fire,it came to him,it was Amir! His favorite star!he got up and jumped so much,that the satellites picked up images of another tsunami(you see he was so fat,er..thondi in tamil means stomach).But the actor,bowed down and asked him with a true panache,what his majesty wanted.And so the exuberant king ordered the actor to explain the reason for him to take such a role.

It was for his next film -guard,he explained.He needed to get initiated to the role.Why he was even sleeping when the king was not watching,he added.the king was flattered.He told the actor to summon the dancer and go back to sleep.
When the noble left handed minister heard this,he felt a tinge of sweat trickled down his made up pink of health brow.He got up and informed the king that the dancer had left for the United States.The king requested for the painter,at least that should throw some hue on his dull mood.And at this,sweating even more the minister informed the king,that the painter had been thrown into some oasis in a desert in the middle east,as the people wanted didn’t like him.

So informed,the king was dejected.His first day in office,was getting worse.he knew that the priest had been a bogus.He needed something to make him feel better…and as his highness was becoming grumpier and grumpier,entered the protagonist,the jester of jesters,Darshel.

The bubbly Darshel along with his aide ,Deepika,were the talk of every household.The lady was the hit,she was capable of performing multiple roles so well,that Darshel,could carry on his non stop nonsense,he could refuse all the awards they gave him or appear in TV,while the lady entertained the king when the ads came on the court channel.

In a supposed to be mesmerizing move,the clown,with an ave,shouted,long live the king,long live the queen with three hundred cart wheels(who told that people have to cut costs and no testing?He still made his own things,after all he still was the horse and no fiat can make him see otherwise).The king then realized what he needed,a Queen!

And so as the realization struck his perfectly combed,no gel,only oiled hair,he got up ,as if the 19000 RPM he was planning to import had already hit him and ordered everyone in the court to,find me ops,him a queen.The court felt the power.They all felt the nudge,the magical touch ,this they knew was the secret behind the royal line,this is what kept even the most neo-clear counties at bay.And so feeling the Intra court power,they all set about,as if they were trying to find information about a terrorists from the neighboring country.

The court website team was contacted and told to place an ad for a queen.The minister himself went on air,in CCB and assured the world,that the kingdom needed a queen.Reassured people across the world,googled the kingdom of Thondi,which till then they didn’t know existed and even those who knew thought was in the middle of the pacific.The various blogs had informative posts on the kingdom and then went on to add how much money was being wasted on a queen hunt.

A few speculated that a Sarah would be the right choice.And the minister himself,informed the king about this…

 

WHAT IS SAMBAR MAGIC? WAIT TO FIND OUT!

Part two tomorrow(if you really really want to read it,if you say no,it will be a no,so vote properly,this is not for a WWE!) 

 

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