sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part-8!(spoof)

Read part 7 here.

 

The king heard the sage speak out.It was the best speech he had ever heard,not even the home minister was capable of such,not even Obama was capable of such,not even ,not even,the Martian who tried to take over Earth was capable of such,not even ,not even,there was no comparison left, “ha! such wisdom” the king thought to himself.

To others around him,the king seemed lulled like he was watching a 4 hr Hindi movie, like the snake who was charmed in the street corners on some country, like poor people at the hands of corrupt politicians or kids on orkut getting hacked. And all the while ,the king was dreaming of a coup, that someone was talking over his kingdom. 

It struck the poor king,he burst out, ” What do you call a brahmin boy who can write with both his hands? ” 

The sage looked pleased,”ha so the spirits have woken up ,have they” , he said in a deep baritone,as if the moon had flown away. ” I know the answer,to your wit, ‘ ambi-dexterous’ (ambi – boy/man) ..ha ha ha,such wit,welcome to the land of thondi,whom am I speaking to? ” 

” This is the great spirit of thondi raja’s great to the power of 100 grand father,How are you oh! sage,you look as young as you were,when you made Alexander go back! My ,I remember,you were wearing those Chinese silk stuff,when did you change fashion?” 

“OH! I change my fashion,as it comes. My fellows rule the world of fashion you know.You want to go to Milan ,watch a fashion show and play football with Beckham,I have some passes for you.” 

“Ha! no,my time here is short.I am using a Prepaid connection and my we have recession in heaven as well,so before they lock me out,I need to get back. We are asking for a bailout,but since elections are approaching and the parties are busy wasting money on campaign posters and false promises…anyway,This is what I have to say,anyway,oyi, my son,do you hear me? ”

” yes thatha( grand father).”

” On the 5th full moon from today,go and climb the great peak of thondi and stand there,with some of your French wine,Swiss cheese and Thiyirsadham,that day we shall upgrade to the platinum thondi member. Be well dressed ,the special angles will be there and oh! they likes bribes,so have some nice gift handy for him.”

” oh! I shall do as you say thatha,but one problem,I do not take or pay bribes,I have been inspired by bloggers to not do so.I refuse to pay bribes.” 

“Ha! that is sad,make your choice,I have to go,my balance is almost over,my I should change connections,waiting for number portability..bye..”

The king woke up from the trance . He left so fresh, ha he had such wonderful ideas and he got the message,he dutifully recited it,like some sacred hymn,lest he forget it! He left as if he was growing younger by the day,like Benjamin Button…

Suddenly there was a blast and a gunman appeared,he placed the PK-A7 on the kings head and with a wild laugh screamed “Game over”….

tagged

Yup a tag after a long,long time,so long that if i were to grow a beard,I would have bagged the role in the next Aamir Khan film.Ha ‘isone is about Movie quirks.Of course i usually avoid all fimly tags,mainly because i don’t watch that many films,so well something different…And this is one from verbivorehere . 

Movie quirk :-

1)I go to the theater like once in 6 months or maybe twice.And the best part is,if we as a family are to go,we decide to books the tickets on the eve of the show.And well sathyam always has no tickets left for us.For the shoelace movie,we managed to book 2 tickets online,then as a quick fix,my called up the theater people and told “her kids,who are very small cannot miss the movie”,so there we had four tickets.

2)Since we do not watch movies at the theater,it means we get the DVD from rental a rental shop.So we get the usual pop corn and other snacks and watch the movie at home.This gives us the freedom to make fun of the movie,or in my case ROFL /kicking the football around,if the movie is boring.

3)I like to watch Aamir Khan’s,Kamal Hassan’s,Jonny Depp’s and Will Smith’s  and Jackie’smovies.Their movies have some sense in them and the acting usually is good.Of course you can add Heath Ledger but his books are closed already.

4)Tamil movies are the limit.Bollywood is no match.The movies are so horrible and the stunts so amazingly,as we say in Tamil,”kadula poo”(flower on the ear…er…hope you get what i mean).

5)Frankly the heroines just can’t act.Well at least one of them can’t Katrina Kaif,I think,she and her that Akshaya Kumar,are ugh!..And In kollywood,well they at least do some acting.

6) When i see a good character in a movie,I try to think,how i would have done the role.

7)I  can’t understand Hindi,but it is improving by the day.

8) Whatever…I am bored…i don’t see the point in senseless movies…I like movies like The dark Knight,where there is good a cting,like Pirates of the Cariabbean,where the story is inspiring,like Taree Zamine Par,Goal,which again has a good story line,Anbe shivam,The pianist,Dashavatharam etc.I hate the boring old,boy likes girl stories,I always wonder if gravity,fainted while watching such films..

9) I like nice songs.There have been a few amazing.Also I feel Tamil cinemas should have subscripts.There are a few amazing movies,which are well,awesome.And funnily enough they mostly are Kamal’s.

 

Anyway,I don’t really like to discuss movies,will rather prefer football…And ya passing this on…hmm…if you are bored or haven’t done a tag in a while,you are welcome to do it…ha one person has to do this though,Nikhil.

Jaane tu…ya jane na

the senseless stuff!(well maybe that half an hour or so a jumping board for the end)And slowly as we moved to the end,OMG! i had to double check if i was watching a hindi movie or tamil movie!What the hell,seriously? It was so boring in the middle segment,that if not for the little twinkle of hope left in me ,that it would be better,i would have ran away! And well the ending,would seriously require a Rats wah!wah! or rather a meow,meow song! seriously!God my friends are way better at telling these long,incredibly ‘blade’ jokes! Ok i feel to the floor laughing,because all other reactions/emotions died,seriously they were buried by the sheer stupidity!

I know this contradictory to what many others have said.But then seriously the movie would have left a better impression if the emotions in th middle were avoided ,i mean it was supposed to be a funny movie,they could have used it through out the movie or at least they should have made it a little less serious in the movie.

the songs are really really nice.ARR’s beats ,well you that they are the best right now.The lyrics are important for any song and the lyricist Abbas Tyrewalla has done a good job.

Anyway i would give this one 6/10 or maybe even 5.i have seen a lot of better movies than this,surely,but it did make me laugh a bit.

Anyway here is a song from the movie…