the last cold hours!

September 2, 2008 § 14 Comments

Cold hours,frozen clocks,
the moment is all but locked.
The present gratified,
time is lost into the night.
fear and peace grip the hearts,
emotions are all lost,
as the need for thought,has been lost!
No one knows what is the need,
and morality is lacking in every deed,
scary and vehement,locked in the darkness,
hell’s days have began.
Noise like never before is made,
and meaning for words are slowly seeing the fade.
Without anything to destroy,
with weapons of destruction as toys,
people search for the light,
so that that too can be shut after the fight.
When meaning to life,dies,
life has no value,just like the rectangular sky.
In despair people lost the meaning of love,
for if not in action,where can we find love?
If not through your hands and creative
expression,how else can you express,
all that is not to be said but done?
Unless you eat,you cannot think,
and to eat,you need to think!
But oh! the promise of better logic,
the idea that equality is one where all suffer
and where one kills everyone dear!
The rusted minds,which preach ,
that work is to think is to impeach,
the very existence of human thought!
For creatures kill to survive,
the birds learn to fly,
but oh! man is dirt,
so thought is dust,
clear it oh! wise people,
and then you will see your god!
With nothing to destroy,
with too many gods,there to fight,
lusterless minds all turned into fiends-
the nobility of humanity,
was now lost,as if it too were destiny.
Squalors are filled
and lights are all offed or dimmed,
walk at the cost of your life,
and think,you are breaching the law-
the law of the one number,dice.
With everything lost,
and the hell at full blast,
the creatures tore apart,
the human flesh,of their own virtue brothers!
And then at their demise,cried foul
and were held guilty by the code less decree,
and with chains they bound the beast,
and rotted,being sucked by the affinity of leech.
And then seeing where it all began,
they knew now what happened.
But with all hope lost,
and light cut off,
once the creatures of heaven,
now drained into the over flowing drains of hell,
and the abyss,extended and fell and fell!
oh! the mother and father of all men,
how did they survive,
if not for wit or the need to sit and think,
among the green Edens,
where creatures were all in balance?
Is this the apple,
which was eaten?
That the poison from within it,
has at last began to be felt
and humanity is now in doom’s vent?
The ether is lost in suffocation,
and in the lack of air and boisterous indignation,
slowly none was left,
expect two like it when it began.
The sight they held,
was the one which caused them to feel,
that mistake a mistake had been made,
one which had literally led into the grave!
But the smoke of the morgues killed them too,
and humanity breathed its last,
it died as fast as it had come,
now nothing remains,
expect that which was there when it all began.
The moon and the sun shone on,
the vultures by nature,at last ate
and laughed and drank,at these poor
creatures,who had tried,
to become the vultures.They lacked wings,
they told themselves,so in their scavenge
they too decayed.Now at last paradise was
regained and the gods became,
theirs and the god , ale perished last,
as his wine became sour,
with the rusted blood of humans,
and then into the nothingness passed,
the eons,waiting for creation to sally.
And the nights were dark,
and the days too bright,
earth was a shattered speck,
and back in time,when there were no clocks,
back in time,when there were no hours,
back in time when there were no gods,
back in time when nothing was,
back in time when there was no verse,
way back to the beginning of the universe.

the light shines the brightest

Thinking about my identity

July 23, 2008 § 13 Comments

What is the use? what is the use of this world?

It is always amazing,to know that we the significant micro(maybe even smaller) particles who make up the universe have some purpose and a life to live.Why i live my life,in a regimented way,going to school,supposedly learning things.What will it be like to be in another planet? What will I be,if i were in another planet.Would that planet too have death as we have?What is the big deal anyway of being earthling?

Think of the universe,as it is.I know it is too big to fit into my minuscule three dimensional imagination,but whatever little i can ‘see’,leaves me perplexed ,confused and in a dire need for becoming larger than life itself.Why how can something so big exist in the first place? When i was small,the sun was just ‘nature’ something which i was born into.It was a constant,to the mind which was ready to be tinkered ,it saw what what others thought they saw.The moon Always represented an old lady making ‘idly’.the beach was a place where something called waves lashed on endlessly and if i ventured into it alone,i would be eaten by it.My life was of prime importance to me.Being another heir of the mistake stricken ,unwanted humanity,survival was the instinct.

But as i grew up,i slowly realized,that things are different.In fact education does at least that much to you.You are told that we belong to a solar system and that the moon goes around us.The next time i saw the moon,i lookedย ย at it as an entity who was moving around the earth.Now i am digging really deep to feel what i felt then.It is surprising that ‘life’ is so old.What are these memories? So are we a dream,a memory too?

Me writing rather typing,is an memory in more ways than one.Since i am writing i do not care what happens else where around me.Why would i react when i am content,why the moment will always be embedded in me,carved into me,for i am in tune with the reminiscence of the world’s making. Did we go toย the heavens because earth never satisfied us? Why when did we realize that we were nothing more that illusive little creatures,who don’t know anything?

On earth everything has the touch of man,as it has of ‘god’.Almost all our fellow creatures,all the flora and fauna which were painted with the magic wand along with us ,have been cut,dissected,bisected,trisected and researched upon. We have arrived at the conclusion that we are the only ones who can think the best.We were after all the once who discovered the existence of God.

Our identity as human beings,has perpetuated from our predecessors.But deep inside all of us know that this is not our absolute identity.When we look at the sky and stare stars and suns ,we feel an old belonging ,the sight of home,after an hiatus to hibernation. Since we are the clever modern super humans in terms of an ever expanding brain and since we know about the big bang and such and such,we run a particle accelerator inside our cramped cavity,reproducing with a eerie contentment,what we feel is the origin of the universe.We revel in it for a few spectacular moments,we run the jocund clowns of happiness in us to such speeds that ecstasy is what we pronounce.We are all happy to be home,we wish to keep seeing our Gods for longer,but the ever severing mind,declares that you have to break the bonds,to live life and produce yourself to sacrifice for the betterment of man.You don’t want it.Who wants to move from home,after a long voyage?Who wants to travel,when travel is all he has done?Who wants to swim,when he has all the while swam?Yet since you are the mind,with a rhetoric puffed up displeasure you try to satisfy your real want with a chronic happiness ,which is at most momentary and small enough to displease the materialistic narcissistic in you and carry on with it.I am trying to write something and all the while i am thinking of the wonderous world,whose width widens my perspective.I am here and i am not.

What is my identity?Am i a lost sibling of a distant star,for whom if i am found,i will look the same as when i landed on Eden? Or have i crossed an Adam’s bridge,to burn all that was bad and mortal? Am i an entity for whom this body was a lease,lent by earth to write off her ever lasting loans?Or am i, simply an animal,a tainted beast,with the curse of thought and want of fantastical fantasies to suit my ill-tempered unbalanced mind?What am i anyway?

Yes,i feel lost.Yes i feel lost here too.Yet i can hear the world,but i can’t see it.I can hear the old song,but my eyes have grown used to this,so that the old song,is a poignant, nostalgic de -javu.i dream up lands,i build my castles.I am a man,a human,who has written tales upon tales with fairies and fun and frolic but i am also the man who writes edifices and breaths the voice of an enigmatic Satan,a suitable tool ,one sprung during my autumn,to sooth the God in me.yet i know,i do not need him,for i was the one who gave god a face,which he can hold high and i was the one who taught him to write,so that he can say what he felt.I lent a being bigger than me,i lent it not one but two identity,i created a juxtapose of the good and the bad,of light and night,of God and Satan,yet i fail at lending myself a single identity.I call myself the third.I am happy to pull the strings of the first too.Yet my fingers move without my knowledge in my sleep,they want home and what they see is that destruction can retrace me,to where i belong.

There is music playing in the background.The song is melodious.It is a classic,it breaths life into the creature,whose identity is his name and his music.Why what caused him to play and create music?Did he realize that if he struck his strings and quietened the world with symphonies ,he might be able to shriek out for his lost sibling?Or did he realize that when he played his music,he could be himself ,free and inheritor of freedom,the absolute transparent being,who could smile away adversity and sleep ugly to beauty? I am listening to his and with gusto summoning my aesthetic consciousness to appreciate his ballades.I try to feel the same joy he felt when his fingers were let lose upon the keys,to key in the codes of his disparity among humanity.But his code was always good,for such is the magic,of the hands who are at home,always,poor pathetic things,they can’t see nor hear,they are slaves whose only wish is to satisfy their master, as they feel that is their duty and destiny.

Movements.The breeze tickles the trees.Those gigantic beings let out giggles.Why among humanity their existence is varied.One day they are paraphrased as the basic need for the survival of humanity’s earth,the next day,they are cut by the very hands,oh! pathetic hands,they are the only ones who want to get us home.

If my hands know my home,then why don’t I?Should i close my eyes,for all eternity,so that the reality has a chance to roll the dice and bring me home to see its son?I wish i could,but i have a mind,who is a ardent appraiser of the rebellious me.I am torn by my hands,physically and by my mind mentally.I ask you both,i think of either home or heaven-hell only when i am felt free,to my peace.They refuse.I shut my eyes.The hands sway the puppets of infinity,they try to hail home closer.The mind eats into me,they ruthlessly try to disrupt the harmony and bleed my namesake into surrender,but they fail ,neither will give up,i am the used,i am the user,i am between myself.I am still wondering about me and my true reality,one thing is for sure,i will lose mortality when i find the reality,let it be soon.Mortality is lost,when sense of reality is found.

May the world be in peace.Home is not far away,the darkest night,is the last of winter,the coldest water is one before the hot.Let the world exist at it should,let every man reach his harbor and let every flight end at home,may the world be in peace,i go to sleep….

Devil ya!

July 1, 2008 § 17 Comments

Here is something fun ๐Ÿ™‚ These belong to one of my friends :)Cool na?

watch out ,i will tear you apart ๐Ÿ˜€

So you thought i was joking? Well take that!

And that!

ha peace!

P.S.: all the photos were taken with my mobile cam ๐Ÿ™‚

Ops forgot Calvin ๐Ÿ™‚

and Fear of the dark ๐Ÿ™‚ (one of my all time favs ๐Ÿ™‚ )

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