A couple of awards!!!

September 14, 2008 § 23 Comments

Well people from now,better not say,have a blast! Wow!,some people are really ripping the country apart,as if they were the ones who built it! Anyway,just came back home to the comp after 24 hours!(ya this is the first time in a long time there hasn’t been a post here,for 24 hrs!! πŸ˜› ) Anyway,i got two awards yesterday,so here we go πŸ˜›

Jeevan gave me this one πŸ™‚

I Pass this one on to:

1)Priya

2)Priya Joyce

3)Pria

4)Nikhil

5)Raj

6)Reema

7)Dinesh Babu

8)Sakhti

9)Nita

10)Sakhi

11)Aarti

Sahefa gave me this one πŸ™‚

And this one i shall give it to,

1) Priya

2) Nikhil

3)Reema

4)Arvind

5)Aarti

Lol the other one,the Brilliante one,Was also given to me byΒ  Leafless,Hiphopgmom,Sahefa and Keshi.

And well a lot more of you deserve the awards,i am sure ,you will some how get it ( i don’t want to give to everyone πŸ˜› ,others too need to pass it on na πŸ˜‰Β  )

Happy teachers day :) !

September 5, 2008 § 25 Comments

From teachers day

YA trust us to know how to eat :P. This is the cake we ordered for teachers day πŸ˜› It tasted supeb!! πŸ˜› I got a huge chunk of it πŸ˜‰

The tradition in our school,is that we students take over as teachers for one day πŸ™‚ All these years we watched our seniors do it and at last it was our turn! I was pretty pissed off,in the morn,as i didn’t get the teacher i wanted,to be for the day,but then theΒ  cake made me all happy again πŸ˜› The show put up by us,was as my vice-principal said “one of the best in the past 28 years”.So teachers day is all and done and we all move closer to moving away from each other.A few more months and our school life will come to an end πŸ™‚

Anyway to all the teachers out there,HAPPY TEACHERS DAY πŸ™‚

love is….

August 21, 2008 § 24 Comments

A guy loves a girl.The girl doesn’t love him.Usual story?In films,goons are the boon,they appear on the scene,from no where and steal a bag or do something stupid.Or the girl just gets impressed with something the guy does.Is it so in real life?In real life,it is the first impression which plays most part,for the human mind is capable of judgment and will use its discretion.Like in cinema ,in real life too friends and other around play an important part.But lets leave everyone else fro a while and concentrate on the guy and the girl.

The girl has judged the guy and she doesn’t love him.She doesn’t hate him either.The guy is head on heels and flatter on feet,water in the sky over her.He tries to impress her by doing a lot of things.But she isn’t impressed.The guy understands what is happening but likes her so much that he can’t forget about it.He wants her really badly,so what should he do?How can he impress her?Isn’t it best that he talks it out openly with her,instead go beating around the bush?isn’t better to put the facts and think on them?Especially if it affects the guy badly-mentally and emotionally?What do you think?

This post is dedicated to my friend O.And he didn’t ask me to post it.He doesn’t know about this yet.

P.S.: had a blast of a day.Went for a quiz and then had my school annual day.Two of my friends came 5th out of 746 participants.And the annual day went on well πŸ™‚

tagged!

August 12, 2008 § 11 Comments

Yup i am tagged by compulsivewriter!!!!!! And this one is not one of those long never will see the day tags πŸ˜› it is pretty nice one,about things which changed my life πŸ™‚

Now i am pretty young and handsome (lol,17!) ,so what changed can be there in my life?Hmm…so after the day when a non-existent bomb decided not to show it self up and helped us bunk two periods(more on that in the next post!) it is time to retrospect.So down the choco trail i go(most of you said that,but well it isn’t try guessing again and ya if you know a site where i can upload a photoshop animation please do tell πŸ™‚ ) again.

The book :-I love to read and i should thank my mom for this.She turned the T.V. addict me to a guy who cannot stop reading πŸ™‚ All the books i finish have some impact on me,like an Equal Music.(click to go the review) which inspired me to write a poem.But the book i owe all to is :-

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho !

It is the book which opened my eyes to the fact that i have done the basic things which he was talking about in the book.It caused me to realize that a lot of my habits,were actually the right things to do.he also gave me the confidence to understand there is another world πŸ™‚

The POEM:- Well yes,it is all down to one poem! I used to write poetry when i was in smaller classes,but then had given up on the habit.But then one fine day,when i was idling in class,i picked up the pen again and wrote Mother India! And since then i have kept writing.

The people:- MY grandfather comes first when i say people.I usually show all my poems first to him.Then of course my parents for letting me write πŸ™‚ Ops and i shouldn’t forget my SIS! LOl! even though she cannot understand,iΒ  have shown her a few of my poems πŸ™‚ And then you who read my blog! it is thanks to you guys that i keep writing.While I basically write for myself,it is nice to see others reading your poems and commenting πŸ™‚ Also i shouldn’t forget my friends Especially Rohan and Harsha for their support and being the only ones patient enough to listen to me when i get into my long laments πŸ™‚ And there is one special person whom i owe a lot more than i can say here πŸ™‚ She knows who she is πŸ™‚ She is the reason why i am even here today πŸ˜‰

Music:- Yup i draw a lot of passion from music.And music has had its part in changing me.Ever since i picked up the violin,i have started listening to a wider variety. Every piece of music i listen to me,changes me in one way or the other and i one day hope to write lyrics for some good cause πŸ™‚

The SEA,The sun and nature:- What is so great about the sea? Well see here to know more about it πŸ™‚ And of course i consider humans as a part of nature,so every person i met has had an impact on me for the good or for the bad(?).

And last but not the least THE LIGHT SHINES THE BRIGHTEST πŸ™‚

Now for the tagging part :-

1)Aaarti

2) Reema

3)Raj

4)Lena

5)Sameera

6)Aneesh

Thinking about my identity

July 23, 2008 § 13 Comments

What is the use? what is the use of this world?

It is always amazing,to know that we the significant micro(maybe even smaller) particles who make up the universe have some purpose and a life to live.Why i live my life,in a regimented way,going to school,supposedly learning things.What will it be like to be in another planet? What will I be,if i were in another planet.Would that planet too have death as we have?What is the big deal anyway of being earthling?

Think of the universe,as it is.I know it is too big to fit into my minuscule three dimensional imagination,but whatever little i can ‘see’,leaves me perplexed ,confused and in a dire need for becoming larger than life itself.Why how can something so big exist in the first place? When i was small,the sun was just ‘nature’ something which i was born into.It was a constant,to the mind which was ready to be tinkered ,it saw what what others thought they saw.The moon Always represented an old lady making ‘idly’.the beach was a place where something called waves lashed on endlessly and if i ventured into it alone,i would be eaten by it.My life was of prime importance to me.Being another heir of the mistake stricken ,unwanted humanity,survival was the instinct.

But as i grew up,i slowly realized,that things are different.In fact education does at least that much to you.You are told that we belong to a solar system and that the moon goes around us.The next time i saw the moon,i lookedΒ Β at it as an entity who was moving around the earth.Now i am digging really deep to feel what i felt then.It is surprising that ‘life’ is so old.What are these memories? So are we a dream,a memory too?

Me writing rather typing,is an memory in more ways than one.Since i am writing i do not care what happens else where around me.Why would i react when i am content,why the moment will always be embedded in me,carved into me,for i am in tune with the reminiscence of the world’s making. Did we go toΒ the heavens because earth never satisfied us? Why when did we realize that we were nothing more that illusive little creatures,who don’t know anything?

On earth everything has the touch of man,as it has of ‘god’.Almost all our fellow creatures,all the flora and fauna which were painted with the magic wand along with us ,have been cut,dissected,bisected,trisected and researched upon. We have arrived at the conclusion that we are the only ones who can think the best.We were after all the once who discovered the existence of God.

Our identity as human beings,has perpetuated from our predecessors.But deep inside all of us know that this is not our absolute identity.When we look at the sky and stare stars and suns ,we feel an old belonging ,the sight of home,after an hiatus to hibernation. Since we are the clever modern super humans in terms of an ever expanding brain and since we know about the big bang and such and such,we run a particle accelerator inside our cramped cavity,reproducing with a eerie contentment,what we feel is the origin of the universe.We revel in it for a few spectacular moments,we run the jocund clowns of happiness in us to such speeds that ecstasy is what we pronounce.We are all happy to be home,we wish to keep seeing our Gods for longer,but the ever severing mind,declares that you have to break the bonds,to live life and produce yourself to sacrifice for the betterment of man.You don’t want it.Who wants to move from home,after a long voyage?Who wants to travel,when travel is all he has done?Who wants to swim,when he has all the while swam?Yet since you are the mind,with a rhetoric puffed up displeasure you try to satisfy your real want with a chronic happiness ,which is at most momentary and small enough to displease the materialistic narcissistic in you and carry on with it.I am trying to write something and all the while i am thinking of the wonderous world,whose width widens my perspective.I am here and i am not.

What is my identity?Am i a lost sibling of a distant star,for whom if i am found,i will look the same as when i landed on Eden? Or have i crossed an Adam’s bridge,to burn all that was bad and mortal? Am i an entity for whom this body was a lease,lent by earth to write off her ever lasting loans?Or am i, simply an animal,a tainted beast,with the curse of thought and want of fantastical fantasies to suit my ill-tempered unbalanced mind?What am i anyway?

Yes,i feel lost.Yes i feel lost here too.Yet i can hear the world,but i can’t see it.I can hear the old song,but my eyes have grown used to this,so that the old song,is a poignant, nostalgic de -javu.i dream up lands,i build my castles.I am a man,a human,who has written tales upon tales with fairies and fun and frolic but i am also the man who writes edifices and breaths the voice of an enigmatic Satan,a suitable tool ,one sprung during my autumn,to sooth the God in me.yet i know,i do not need him,for i was the one who gave god a face,which he can hold high and i was the one who taught him to write,so that he can say what he felt.I lent a being bigger than me,i lent it not one but two identity,i created a juxtapose of the good and the bad,of light and night,of God and Satan,yet i fail at lending myself a single identity.I call myself the third.I am happy to pull the strings of the first too.Yet my fingers move without my knowledge in my sleep,they want home and what they see is that destruction can retrace me,to where i belong.

There is music playing in the background.The song is melodious.It is a classic,it breaths life into the creature,whose identity is his name and his music.Why what caused him to play and create music?Did he realize that if he struck his strings and quietened the world with symphonies ,he might be able to shriek out for his lost sibling?Or did he realize that when he played his music,he could be himself ,free and inheritor of freedom,the absolute transparent being,who could smile away adversity and sleep ugly to beauty? I am listening to his and with gusto summoning my aesthetic consciousness to appreciate his ballades.I try to feel the same joy he felt when his fingers were let lose upon the keys,to key in the codes of his disparity among humanity.But his code was always good,for such is the magic,of the hands who are at home,always,poor pathetic things,they can’t see nor hear,they are slaves whose only wish is to satisfy their master, as they feel that is their duty and destiny.

Movements.The breeze tickles the trees.Those gigantic beings let out giggles.Why among humanity their existence is varied.One day they are paraphrased as the basic need for the survival of humanity’s earth,the next day,they are cut by the very hands,oh! pathetic hands,they are the only ones who want to get us home.

If my hands know my home,then why don’t I?Should i close my eyes,for all eternity,so that the reality has a chance to roll the dice and bring me home to see its son?I wish i could,but i have a mind,who is a ardent appraiser of the rebellious me.I am torn by my hands,physically and by my mind mentally.I ask you both,i think of either home or heaven-hell only when i am felt free,to my peace.They refuse.I shut my eyes.The hands sway the puppets of infinity,they try to hail home closer.The mind eats into me,they ruthlessly try to disrupt the harmony and bleed my namesake into surrender,but they fail ,neither will give up,i am the used,i am the user,i am between myself.I am still wondering about me and my true reality,one thing is for sure,i will lose mortality when i find the reality,let it be soon.Mortality is lost,when sense of reality is found.

May the world be in peace.Home is not far away,the darkest night,is the last of winter,the coldest water is one before the hot.Let the world exist at it should,let every man reach his harbor and let every flight end at home,may the world be in peace,i go to sleep….

Humans?(ranting and ya i warn you,don’t read this)

July 16, 2008 § 6 Comments

I live among humans alright.Yes human,humans alright.But how many of them are really themselves? For the past three days my frustration has been building up .Are humans trying to survive by just killing people with their attitudes? Please , i just can’t stand it! The masks!

I understand we all need to cover up our insecurity and maintain our privacy,but for that you don’t hurt others.Well if you think this too normal think again.It is not just a ‘few’,it is almost everyone!I mean i just can’t stand it,no one seems to be talking anything worthwhile.Stupid PJs,blasphemous swearing (by god,I am bugged of ’em,the words have lost their meaning,i mean if every second person is going to scream f*** ,no one si going to get insulted,the word’s meaning is buried,very rarely does one even bother reminding himself,that the word has a meaning!) I admit, i too swear,in fact i will say it just caught with me.But i don’t use it on people who get offended by it.Anyway leaving that apart,I think everyone is becoming fake.i mean everyone is in a mad rush,no one has time to think why they are alive.

While i might be an extraordinary creature who is always thinking about life,i don’t know why people cannot think of themselves for a minute? I mean not in terms of what they are going to be but why they exist.I get ridiculed,nagged,jacked and whatever day in day out for the way i think. Well i think people have given up on me,yes they have,many ignore me,i spend a lot of time alone,like some lost bard,in an alien land,observing everyone as if they were specimens whom i am doing a poetical thesis on.

I am looking for aliens,seriously.I mean,my kind are almost done for.No one can manage to talk with me for more than 10( that is the record i guess,most for a couple ).I mean the times of nice long con have gone(well as if i ever had them).Well ya so i am searching for aliens like i have been for the past 13 something.I have found a few,with whom i have shared a few good moments,then of course i have my human friends,who are a bit different,the reason being,they don’t care for anything.

But anyway i am drifting off topic,well what was i planning to write on anyway? I mean i was supposed to write on fake people or people with masks or something of the sort.But then i have generalized a lot by telling ” I HATE HUMANS” .Ya no i am going to tell i love a few(they do exist don’t worry,but i don’t want to taint this post with happiness and love) i mean to say i hate them from my heart.Well not something you might expect me to write about.But make no mistake about it,i am not a hypocrite.I do believe in live and let live and love all but rad all my poems on unity,there will be something which be like ” we should try ” or ” if we can”.I do try very hard,but then i can’t stand them.It is nice to meet people with out their mask.So now you get it,i hope.i am talking about the masked strangers in humanity(i am reminding myself again,you see it is tough fro me not get carried away when i write on humans) .After all if a person is truly “evil”(ya well….whatever),then i don’t mind,i mean they are after all meant to be.But then for the in betweens,who aren’t sure if they want to be a pirate or a swear on the sand virtue filled,humanity bogged,pathetic being(well lets say normal).Now Again i think i am making a “negative character look good.Ha well i like the bad better,after all it takes more to be bad then good.But anyway what is the purpose of living? i mean as a society we have to “share” our lives.So why not drop your dumb unwanted mask and be yourself? That doesn’t mean fall on the shoulders of every second person you meet and cry,why can’t you just accept that the person in front of you too is alive and well has “feelings” and is a creature with a heart,mind and god forbidden soul? i hate it.

Well i haven’t progressed much,the i am tired and pissed off,but at least i didn’t go acting “cool”.The weird thing is,people find me it tough and well even scary to accept me.i mean might be the fact that i always look at thing differently and well might be the fact(should i send this to everyone i know?) ,well i don’t know.i have tried answering it and i am not going to get humanized whatever happens,even if i have to die being an alien i am happy.

Hm…again i went off.That is my main problem i guess.If i start writing anything “human” i get carried away.i have found it tough,weird,strange,unreasonable,purposeless to live among humans.I am not hapy to be one among the hoard,i prefer to be the capitol which gets bombed first(well ya ,ya i can’t stand others getting hurt) .i seriously am thinking back,seriously,retrospecting into the short 16 years of my life.It is almost over,i mean i am going to become 17,soon.What have become as an human? I had plans for my birthday,but don’t feel like going with it, why honor people ?Well i am very fit about calling only my closest frineds,but then why do that too? Ok this turing into more of a rant,so guess i will stop.

And iam not going to read back and edit,no time for that you see.and no pics too,don’t feel like it,this is a rant and well no authentication required πŸ™‚

ya keep smiling,if you can πŸ™‚ It does you good πŸ™‚

One for the sake of two(short story)

July 13, 2008 § 12 Comments

I am writing a short story after a long time πŸ™‚ And well as usual no names πŸ™‚ LOL πŸ™‚ tell me what you feel about it πŸ™‚

Shattered.He felt shattered.How can she leave him? After all that?Why? what did he do wrong? He knelt down in pain.Why everything in life seemed vain.He was tempted to go and end it all somewhere.Why,why won’t she accept him,now? Why a few seconds ago she loved him,after all she had loved him for the past three years,why? WHY! WHY!

Someone was behind him,he turned back,trying to control his emotions.He kept his head bent.The other person was telling something.He didn’t feel like talking.Why he didn’t want to have anything with humans.He got up,the other person tried to hold him,his mind registered that it was one of his friends.He shrugged away.HE started walking,walking towards nothing. His friend followed him.

“what happened da?” ” tell something man, Why what happened to you? ”

“nothing,just nothing,leave me alone.”

“I can’t.I won’t leave you alone,idiot.You might get your self killed.”

“well it doesn’t matter,if that happened,after all the only person i ever cared left me ,walked on me,took away the last living part of me,i don’t have a purpose for existing,i am already a ghost.”

“don’t work your self up,so much.Chill,wait lets cross and go to the shop,i will get you a drink.”

“Leave me.Why do you even care for me? What did i do for you? What did i ever do to you!?just leave me,i need to be alone.”

“Look,i will leave you alone,but not here.I understand.I told you don’t get involved with her.”

“yes you told me alright! but then i needed a purpose to live.I felt lost.Why i didn’t have anyone to love.I wanted someone who will laugh with me and wipe my tears.I wanted someone who will see me as what i am and will accept me for what i am,who will not try to change me.And she loved me .WHY!”

“Look did she tell you anything before she left?”

“No she didn’t.We were just talking and laughing ,i told her what happened today,how i had been ragged and how the other guys lost it when i acted as if i didn’t understand what had happened.Suddenly she swore at me told me she hated me and walked away laughing!It was so unlike her,let like her.Why,Why is this happening only to me!”

“Dude.Might be she saw someone else.Or there should be a reason.”

” No there isn’t one.It is simple-no one can ever love me.I am the hated and will always be hated.WhyΒ  I know even you don’t like me.Don’t think i forgot that it was you who dragged me into so many things,it was you and your friends who did it in the first place.”

“Look i already told you,i made a mistake.Now don’t bring that up.Just come with me.”

“Why should I ? I am free.I do whatever i want and all i want now i death.I want it,it is the only drug which will ever save me.Hell man go die, i don’t give a damn for anything you say,before i go wild leave me.I will go down in the books of the universe as the one who failed,miserably.I am the biggest mistake! All i want is peace and that is there only in death.”

“how do you know? As if you have died before,cut the crap ,shut up!”

“Ha you don’t know do you.have you ever tried killing your self?”

“No.”

“It is the most beautiful feeling.You sense an end.You feel like nothing matters.You prepare yourself,you forgive everyone and slowly you know it is the right thing,to end it all.Your mind reaches a sense of high peace.Your soul feels at ease.Your heart works at its best,for it knows it has served its purpose,you close your eyes,you love life for you can die.”

“You never told me all this!”

“why should i tell you,to get locked up in some place? No way.I know better ways to die,than get killed by someone like you.”

“you are hopeless.I am the only one who ever cares for you and you such things on my face.OH!god save me!”

“HA,ya i forgot!GOD! you hearing? See i am planning to kill myself,make sure this guy doesn’t stop me! You know why i want to do it,i swear i will kill you if i don’t die!”

“What the hell,how will you kill god? Ha if you stop me,you will know.”

“Wait i will call her up and ask her what happens.”

With a sly smile ,he dials a number.He sees his friend shiver.He was achieving what he wanted to.He will never forgive the guy.His mind raced away,speculating things,”ha,so before you kill yourself,you forgive everyone ,hope you forgive me man,for what i doing to you.Hope hell is good.Don’t forget to message me”.

She picked up the phone.

“hi its me.”

“ha tell.”

“why did you dump him?”

“you told me to so i did.”

“OH! come on,tell me .”

” You told me man,to make that guy fall in love with me and then dump him when you tell him to”.

“What you think he lied to you?”

“what is wrong with you?Is this a movie or something?”

“OH! shut up,stupid girl,he is the best guy you will ever get!”

“Whats wrong with you? You,you…”

“Ha right you are going to do what? go die.”

He cuts the phone.

“dude did you lie to her about anything?”

“Well know.”And he lifts his head.

“so playing games with me?i have warned you,i am insane!She did tell me what you were planning.You see,you don’t know anything about her.She too is like me.the difference is she could hide herself better.Your game is up.”

“OH! nice.What you going to do now?”

“You will see,sooner than later.I am not the kind who hurts people.”

After 3 weeks:-

“what he died?Impossible!!HOW?’

“he killed himself!He wrote a letter here it is!”

he opened the letter and read it out to her:-

“hi you two

I am long dead.I forgive you for what you did to me.I am killing myself because i realized,that i had destroyed what i love the most.As you said it is easier to forgive now and i feel at peace with the world.My girl dumped me.She went of with the other guy,he showed her money and took off.I didn’t have anyone else.I tried to reason out but then my parents found out a few thing like i smoke and drink.They have planned to get me into some place where they will ‘make me alright’.I don’t want it.I too was and after a long time,like you both.i was always lonely as a child and i never had friends.I was ridiculed and ragged.but then one day one of our seniors took me to a place and taught me to drink and smoke.He got me addicted and used me for so many things.i have done so many things which i never should have done and i regret it.I realised when you two found out what i was doing,that i need to become myself.You were examples.It is not that i didn’t know that you two had tried to end it all,but i acted as if i didn’t.Ironically,it was i who have given you both a life now and to honor your love,i give you both my life.Say a prayer for me.”

and they both cried.They missed their best friend.They had known this was going to happen,they wished they had stopped him.”

“but if we had,then he would have died everyday.It is for his good.”

Stream of thoughts

July 10, 2008 § 4 Comments


thoughts.
dimension.
dreams.
reality.
between.
awareness.
numb.
past.
present.
future.
he.
she.
stars.
sun.
brightness.
darkness.
flowers.
cold.
silence.
hot.
noise.
words.
music.
calm.
storm.
wish.
want.
demand.
pain.
world.
surroundings.
environment.
birds.
earth.
humanity.
gone.
life.
love.
living.
voice.
breath.
silence.
height.
joy.
poignant.
level.
monotonous.
friends.
reminder.
loneliness.
family.
childhood.
blank.
numb.
lost.
nothing.
senseless.
time.
infinity.
universe.
boundless.
origin.
unknown.
nothing.
existence.
nil.
zero.
me.
I.
You.
relationships.
LIGHT!
OM!
OM!
OM!


the light shines the brightest!

what comes to your mind?

May 1, 2008 § 9 Comments

what comes to your mind,when you hear these words:-

  1. life
  2. pain
  3. joy
  4. happiness
  5. suffering
  6. love
  7. friend
  8. earth
  9. death.

Unlimited wants

April 10, 2008 § 15 Comments

i want to let go and go some where far off.everything around me is boring.
I want an adventure,i want to take on more barriers.I am not being sentimental,but i want to know i am living.I want to know reality.I want to feel the rivers(even though they maybe polluted),i want to listen to the forests,i want to talk to mountains.I want to be free.I want to write a book.I want to be known,yet not known.I want to be a legend.I want to be a humble being.I want to be a leader.I want to be part of a movement.I want to enjoy life.I want to be free.I want to breath.I want to admire nature.I want to admire humans.I want to be a pilot.I want to be a bird.I want to go on a ship.I want to swim till the end of the world.I want to see deserts.I want to see the poles.I want to see the Everest.I want change the world.I want to play my part in the universe.I want to know where everything ends,i want to bungee jump,i want to go drafting,i want to go sky diving,i want to surf,i want to play all the sports on earth.i want to over come cynophobia,i want to satisy myself….

add as much as you can to the list….let us see what all we all want…It is for a purpose…

Where Am I?

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