Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 5!(spoof)

January 28, 2009 § 13 Comments

Read part 4 here.

 

All the while no one noticed where the man with the beard had disappeared. But like the character he used to play,he appeared at the most inappropriate time, just like the police does in movies,just like celebrities make comments, just like CEOs who are on a holiday now. 

The king was stratled by the man’s arrival.

“My, what timing! Can’t you ever take a coach out of our Railways? ”

“OH! Thondi raja,but it is time to warn you! Everything comes at a price! Oh! wise king, importing Ferrari means you have to pay duties, owing a billion dollar company means,you have to pay bribes; To kick people into the Bay of Thondi,you need to buy pink boots and to read fruity you need a blog! ,the Sambar Magic has a side effect!”

“Side effect? What oh! is this a wonder drug,used by Olympic sprinters? Or is this the beer served at Amnesia,Manglore? ”

“Neither.You will not be caught in any test or in camera,but you are safe as you have this wonder lady beside you!”

“What is it then,save me time will you? Just because dams are full doesn’t mean you can waste ! ”

“Debatable,purly debatable! But well  I will save you time,as I have to go and lead a protest,you shall become a monster for a few hours! And at that time you need to be under control,other wise,well didn’t I tell you Bush used it?”

“Oh! BY my thondi,why didn’t you tell me earlier? When will this be? When Roadies runs on MTV? Or when I read Indian Homemaker

“Hmm..it will happen,whenever,the earth is at a particular place when it is spinning.You will need a special watch, for which you will have to travel through the Sambar world and find a sage,with a transparent beard and listen to the longest Soliloquy by him.

“You have sometime though,I just recieved the time for the next phase of sambar monster madness. It is actually a puzzle,it reads,

” SMSes are short,

MNS is a blot,

Businesses are caught,

Seats are bought,

Time for a simple thought,

You voice shall play a part,

But better think twice,before you tie the knot.”

“Waa,waa! Thats a wonderful sage! I need to find him,Ha my fine man,it is dark,let me begin tomorrow.”

“Ha my king,here have the message ,you will need it.Contact me through my twitter,I just added you.Bye!

“Zookie ZA!”


 

And the sage disappeared.he turned to the lady.

“You need me to drop you home,my fine lady? Shall I summon my Hummer?”

“Oh! king,not to worry,Thondi is the safest place!You have done a wonderful job in admin! People are all scared that they would have to face your wrath,if they commit a crime! I can drink and I can dance and no one shall dare come near me! Anyway bye!

“Zookie Za!”

“Wait!OMG! whats with these people!They…wait a second,she too is from the Sambar world! My guess this is the real second life! I should learn it!! Oh! wind!Oh! sea..na I am supposed to be clever right? Let me see..

“Which blogger is the best..no tough question…what is my fav car? Tough question…which is better Orkut or Facebook? Facebook,easy question..Something tougher..”

And so the king was left all alone,in the dark dark world.He tries to test his newly acquired intellegence like a F1 driver tests his car.And as the wii hours came about,he decided to walk to the palace and then play in his PS3.

He then remembers about the message,he took out the message and read it.

 “SMSes are short,

MNS is a blot,

Businesses are caught,

Seats are bought,

Time for a simple thought,

You voice shall play a part,

But better think twice,before you tie the knot.”

 “Ha such delicate rime! I need to meet the transparent sage! But all these references to …wah! Eureka! I got it,I got it!”

And the king started spriting.Now being fat doesn’t help,so after the first few steps,he stops and starts panting,he takes out his mobile,tries to start google,but fails.

“Oh! Great ancestors,how can I maintain my Thondi and search in the world of Sambar? ”

And the sambar magic took effect again,from no where appeared a supervech-Jet log m,small ,petite and at the same time strong,all the way from Japan!

The got on to it! It had a code written on it and he spake the word into the holy microphone on it! And  by the time ,his thondi infalted and defalted for a gasp,he was inside his chamber.

He ran on to the comp.The internet on his phone had given him problems,he told him self it was time to get 3G ;He first checked his blog hits,than his orkut slaps(And he promptly sent Bush a Boot) and then his Yahoo! Mail and he then landed up in google.He typed..

The Light Shines the Brightest ” And hit enter..

Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 3!(spoof)

January 9, 2009 § 9 Comments

And the voice on the other end,chirped,”yeeeeyaaa!Thondi raja!You have been selceted to perform in the Thondi Idol!”.The king,went ablaze,he jumped and he danced and started to sing,” Oh,want to have a thondi just  like this? Just eat all you have…oh! want to have a thondi just like this…”,The old man with the beard,gave a “I told you so” smile,whitened,by a secret formula,approved by the shamen and the head priest of thondi.

Ops,if you haven’t read part 2 yet then read it here.

 

The king replied to the voice,”Sure,I am honoured and since I sent away our star singer,Himesh,there is no competition for me,though there is this blogger called Vimal,ha did he qualify?”.

“Yes he did and we would be honoured,if you as the king do the thondi dance,to the song,”thondis don’t lie” “.

Even more delighted,”wow,now I need a partner..,when is it? “.And replied the voice ,all earnest and young ” You have plenty of time,oh!the world record holder for eating the most number of bhadushas(bhadushas are Indian donout,though it should be the other way about.),to put on some weight and get ready for the dance.All the best your highness,TC.”

 

As the call ended,the king turned around and thanked the smiling man with the beard.The man with the beard responded,” This is the secret of  Bush to get elected for the second term,the secret of Paris Hilton,to be so slim and Tony Blair,to lie so much and oh! your highness,this will always keep you fat! You are indeed the pride of thondi! Now I think you should go back,take a pack of Sambar with you.

“I will  also teach you the code to return here,but remember this is not web 2.0,no twitter,no stumble,no orkut,no facebook,just keep it to yourself,keep saying it until,you know it like the moves of your favorite heroine or like a kid who watched DD in the 90s,knows the dialogues of Mahabaratha and Ramayana”.

“OH! my fine old man,I understand.I will not give it to anyway,least of all NTTV and I will keep the travelling charges out of my books ,my accountant doesn’t know accounts anyway,he learned the trade at PWC and gets a hefty salary,anyway he is busy, he is appearing as a market analyst in one of those channels called NTTV Loss.And some how,the KTIAA(Kingdom of Thondi Accountants Association) don’t know what to do with him.I could have him thrown to the lions,but unfortunately,the lions,seem to be influenced by our Health minister,maybe,I should make the Rambodoc,from the wonderful blogging world,as the health minsiter.”

“Oh!king whatever.It is time to go.” The man with the beard, then again placed a stone,measured his steps,compained and hit the Ronaldo style free kick.The stone feel into the Magical Sambar river and they were back.

And as they came out of the forest,a guard came running,” Breaking news oh! king,Sathyam boss,just quit.It seems he had doctored the books.”

 “Ha,you fine young man”,the king patted the man on his shoulder,”it is late news,if you want the full story,start blogging,as it is ,you don’t do any work,except,taking bribes from the beggars,to keep the big guards away.I tell you go,I will give you some money,eat ,get a thondi,don’t cheat and read blogs all day long.Otherwise,I will soon start being the “sources within” for the NEWS channels.”

“Oh!king,I am sorry,no,I do blog,but the feeds arrived a little late.Rather I was watching videos on youtube and forgot all about blogging.”

“Ha ,I am feeling hungry,run along”. The king turned to the minsiter who had arrived.”What happened to the Israel bombings?” 

The minister hesitated and confessed,”My brain was struck!”.

The king laughed out loud and beamed,” LOL,now that is a good minister.What a country,no wonder,we have pertol workers going on a strike etc.If we have such wonderful ministers!Now,you are going to get stuck,I am going to send you to the rehab,no comupters for five months.And remember to shave your hair.Of course we will give you a chalk.”

And so the king walked along,majestic as always.He took out his PDA(again gifted).And grunted,”Ha,this Microsoft,it is always getting hung.I thought they didn’t have capital punishments.”And at that moment,an apple,feel from the sky..

THE TRUE INDIAN

June 8, 2008 § 7 Comments

GOOOOOODDDD MORRRNNNINGGGGG blogosphere.

note:- the following post is unedited,i.e. i haven’t re-read it.So you might encounter a few spelling and grammatical errors,i suggest you ignore them,or well you are wasting your time commenting on them 😀

Well i just felt like saying good morning.duh 😀 I just feel like laughing a lot right don’t why.Might be the fact,well no clue.i am still trying to find out why>it is funny that i am in a good mood today,because yesterday,i almost dis-owned the human race!And yes i am going to lament ,in detail what happened yesterday,NO LAUGHING PLEASE!!!

It was just like any other day,the morning routine,of waking up and going to school went on.In school i slept through economics(i think this time seriously did,for i thought we had,had only 10 minutes of economics,but my friends told me we had an hour of it! *sigh*) and then we had a couple of periods free,during which ,being the most insane class in the world,we all started bugging each other.The highlight was a fight between P and R(R had flunked last year and was repeating 11th,but was in my class since there were no teachers and his *gf* was there).P had called him a junior and they got into a fight,*get the point*),well it wasn’t actually much of a fight,but it would have been fun,at least,the 70 bucks which i later payed for the auto would have been compensated.) After the short break we had math,since i sit in the first row and also since my maths teacher knows i usually just like that drop into a siesta,i couldn’t sleep.On the brink of a semi-sanity,i kept mumbling through the class,trying to make sense of it all( i.e. of life and what was i doing there).

Well the bad part is about to start,should i or should i not?

After math,we were allowed to go home! I rushed out,and bingo in the basket ball court,we had football! So after all the usual delays about teams and stuff,we began to play.I set up one goal(we ended up losing or winning 3-2,forgot which),but in the process i hurt my shin(took a full blood back heal).And once the game was over, i started walking,once i outside the school,my usual search for autos began.*it has begun* . i found no auto even after i had made it to the main road(about .5-1 km,it varies you see).Still no autos.So i decided it was time i caught a train. I walked another (.7-1 km) to the station and go to the ticket counter( i take out a 10 buck note and push it through the counter):-

me:- oru mamblam(one mamblam:- one ticket for mamblam)

the counter guy(tcg):- change illa(no change).i am pretty irritated tone.

i let a couple of people go,and saw that he had the change,so i again go and ask.he tells the same thing again,now i told him hell keep the ten bucks,just give me a ticket!He again says no,i tell him give me two tickets,still no! All this for a 4 buck ticket! I was getting damn irritated and thirsty!So i decided to ask a few people if they had change.And no one had any! So without wanting to start a fight9 i knew i will never get anything out of it,so i start walking again,i am damn pissed,i have no clue about bus roots,and also i knew i had to change buses somewhere,i was in no mood for that.I walk about 2 Kms( i asked for change,outside station too,but in response they asked if i had change for hundred.My water bottle had dried up and at about 40 degree Celsius it was no joke,especially since i hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at 7( and for the first time in 5 years i didn’t wear my watch,is didn’t know what time it was).i at last found an auto(but the guy asked me for 70 bucks for the next 3-4 Kms(there was an auto strike yesterday ,against the rise in fuel prices,and i didn’t know that until i reached home).I had two options either to walk the 3-4- kms or pay the guy,but the above mentioned factors made me feel dizzy,so i took the auto.And i reached home in 10 minutes and payed the guy 70 bucks9 i usually pay 60 from my school).i hate the left parties for the strike ,as i said before i almost dis-owned the human race,guys like Osama and Bush suddenly looked like the the right guys9after the guy in the station).

Phew,so i am not sure why i am happy right now.But mr.Lalu Prasad,it is nice to hear that you have started a blog, i am going to spam your blog with this story! What does your railways think? After all i was in my school uniform.

Now i think i have at last seen a true “Indian”,all these days i was seeing the real good people,but this guy seems to represent the Indian which i haven’t see much except on T.V. But as they say all is well that ends well,to see that my blog had about 50 hits made me smile 😀

Next time i have to go in train,i think the counter guy better watch out,i was in no mood to get witty yesterday,but next time mr. watch out.

This must be one of the longest posts i have written-ever.*sigh* Good old sunday morning. 😀

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing entries tagged with Bush at the light shines the brightest.

%d bloggers like this: