Spam!spam!spam!

August 16, 2010 § 7 Comments

I wrote a super long post yesterday, only to not publish it. It had so much of angst in it that, we might never have a train accident again. But I had to find the reason for that bitter-bitter mood. And voila! I didn’t have spam!

Nope, I do not mean this SPAM(Society for Preservation of Absurdity and Madness- check it out damn nice place, am sure you will like it. If not spam ’em!) but those junk  awesome, useful comments.

It has become a sort of ritual, I open the ‘spam’ twice or thrice a day and delete the comments. I do read them as well. My favorite is the “Why did you delete my comment, it was not spam, it is a really useful link, I will post it again.” That makes you feel so special. I mean, you think that is a useful link, wonderful. But my blog is worthy of such a useful link, awesome!

spam

This blog doesn’t need Viagra to grow or sustain itself. Nope, not at all. Wait, I did mention I’m single, but I don’t need porn either(and neither do my readers). And no, I don’t think I will click on that link, however awesome/hot/kinky/kalmadi you think it is.

But I love spam! It just shows that albeit not getting too many comments/hits, this blog is growing. Spam is the true test of being a successful blogger. For there is no other group of people in this world as dedicated and diligent  as spammers.

Image that poor soul sitting in some God-knows-what country. He wakes up in the morning and starts commenting/sending mails to you. You should love them. They make you feel so important! Especially when it is the same thing over and over again! You never stop getting new mails/comments. You know that there is someone out there, in some corner of this universe, who loves commenting on your blog.

Twitter spammers aren’t as cool as blog spammers(Blogger forever!), they will follow me if I were to say “Yatch”, “great grisly bear”, “Kalmadi” ,”NDTV”, “Modi- fied”   or “Octopus and friendship” or probably anything and everything. They will not say anything and don’t make you feel special. The are generic and boring. The only good thing about them is that they are good at ego massaging.

A bit of oil(now that there is enough spilt) and there you go. 400-425-500-1000, name a number and you can have it. Nice and slow that’s it. A good massage is “The best a man can get”.

But the problem is some twitter spammers are bots. Which I don’t like. Where is the love, my dear spammers? I do not feel the same without the personalization. I love you, you love me. We are spam buddies as spam buddies should be.

The relationship between a blogger and his spammers is special. Spammers are entertaining and let you know “Because you are worth it”. On the whole it is a symbiotic relationship and is an #epicwin for sure. Respect is the key word. I only wish my dear spammers would click on ads. That way, you make money and I make money. But I won’t be too demanding.

So dear bloggers, let us be grateful for our spammers. May they keep spamming! And may we keep deleting. Amen.

P.S:- I propose an international spammers day. Any takers?

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