whatever

August 6, 2010 § 9 Comments

This post is to make no bloody sense. You have been warned not to read this, if you carry on:-

1) You are not to call me and talk about this post(except a certain numb-skull, who shall be forced to read this).

2) You cannot point out grammatical mistakes.

3) I shall call you names. No not the monkey, donkey kind, bad bad words, if you break the above two rules.(oye! little kiddo close your eyes, while your mommy reads this).

-Yes, so I failed one subject. And yet everyone is happy. I passed one group you see! Personally I feel like a monkey is a banana plantation, knowing that I have lots to eat, yet dejected at the lack of variety and adventure. And if you don’t understand this- I pity you. You are as clever as a pig. Not that being a pig is bad. I would love to be one.

-I cannot be funny. How much ever I try. Somebody, please laugh at my PJs(it is poor joke, FYI). But I can’t think of any at the moment.

-I feel stupid at feeling stupid. And seriously, I have no clue why I am this stupid.

-Please, stop calling me a ‘rich pampered kid’. If you are jealous, kill yourself. If not, kill me.

-It’s nice to be praised. But crap like ” you have the brains don’t waste it”, confuses me. I thought everyone had a brain and wait did you just give me yours? Roasted goat’s brain anyone? I do remember seeing one in my school Bio-lab, was that yours?

-I quit college. Yes, baby! I join the likes of Steve Jobs, Gates and other rich fellows who dropped out(please see the forbes list- quitters make more money, because we know when to quit- bah! I told you don’t read this).

– I want to do something  in psychology. The reason being that it’s awesome. “Raised eyebrows, typical agrgessive behaviour”, ” trying to pull your chin up- you have an extreme oral obsession”, ” your eyes dilute when I look at you- a good for nothing paedophile.”  No, maybe not. that sounds like mind-raping people. I’m a good guy.

-I am lying a lot. finally I have learnt something worthwhile from my sister.I am lying a lot. In my defence, I can’t think of answers for questions like “why did you join CA”. It is damn absurd if you ask me. If I knew why, I wouldn’t be there. No, that doesn’t make sense. So does having a good ambition in life. I sound bitter but I really am not-am just bored of trying to butter people with my (non-existent) charm.

– I still am single. Considering the possibility of  pretty looking girls reading this blog(which is as remote as an uncorrupted Indian), I shall say no more. Girls, yes, I write serious poetry which no one can understand, but you can be assured I’m quite capable of writing flirty over cheesy poems about your pedicured feet(not that I notice your feet anyway).

– I laughed too much. “Break Out” -a Korean dance comedy . Well if I don’t say #epicwin somewhere in this post, I’m convinced I will lose my sanity and incorrigible addiction to twitter(this is a lie).

– I am suffering from a writers block. Too much happy-happy-happiness is no good. I shall drink a glass of sorrow on the rocks.

-I’m to put on weight. And I end up  losing some. This whole gym thing is a farce. I thought I was fat and was really happy with that(a firm believer of fat is beautiful). This is depressing- why can’t things be normal? I remember those days when I used to be a punching bag for some bigger kids in the van(wait I can’t remember whether that is real).

-There is absolutely nothing else to do in this world. I am bored. I want to say a couple of nasty things, but I shall refrain.

-Someone woke up alter ego- Vichu the crazy. not good. Nothing expect a good dose of sanity puts him to sleep. Can someone find me a Vibushana shooting Rama(if you haven’t watched ravanan, please do).

– Many of my friends are going to the big four. And I’m not, because I know I don’t fit into that sort of system. Is there an asylum for people like me? If so please mail me the address.

-Some good news- I am getting a lot of spam now days. I love spam. Makes you feel all important and worthy. Am a bit of a egoist- I collect emails- comments from various blogs, FB and twitter notifications etc. last count I have 19200 unread mails 😀

-Some more good NEWS-  nope, no more good NEWS. Oh! wait,  this post ends here, before I end up hurting anyone.

P.S:- I want to write a post script saying this is supposed to be funny, but that doesn’t sound funny.

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