happy birthday to me

I am supposed to be happy.
But i prefer joy and there is on around,
so I feel lost,
i try to be happy,
but joy is what i want.
I wish to know the causations,
i wish to know differentiation,
but most of all ,
i wish to know why i am here,
and why do i fear?
Why ,why do i not like
anything.Why ,why am i not
able to relate to anyone.
Is loneliness my gift and curse?
Happy birthday to me,
i have lived for another year,
And a few wish i go on the live
forever.happy birthday to me,
But why is it happy and not joy?
Why happiness is too short,
life too is,
but life is a joy,
as it lasts long.happiness
is like a stream
where as joy is the ocean.
Has the ocean run dry?
Or is it just that,
i am in front of a huge lake?
Or am i looking at the wrong sea?
Whatever it maybe,
someone does exist for me,
happy birthday to me,
i think i can see,
where the ocean might be,
i am off towards it,bye.

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