November 24, 2007 § Leave a comment

a few years ago.Time has flown since,yet they remain in my memory as fresh as the past second.What had happened,my tears which ticked,my fears haunting me,my back against the wall and up to the wind.My memory,my history,my life.How easy it is not to forget.Now i see the very same wall,three bullies had taken me there.

It was not just them i faced.All they did was hit me.But it was the world.i had been to the end of the world.It is a place where no one can ever recover from it seemed.But here i am again standing and facing the wall.But now the world is behind me and i face the wall.

I remember the day,i was the innocent one,i remember how i was accused of bullying.It was the world against me.It is not a soft heart which the world sees first,it is the hard shell.What scars can’t is what i wanted to,but all they would hear of was what the others said.Others.

Now where are they?i asked the wall.Dumb.No reply.

They were with me now.Why because,they had all decided i had something to give them.What is the difference?everyone expects something,is there one person on earth who doesn’t require a bribe?

The gods ask.How simple.People have never ever taken up the responsibility,for them it is tough to do so.everyone is happy to leave it to someone else and everyone suffers.

That night.That day.That hour.When i was up against the world.When i decided it was better to die.yet it never happened.Lies.

They lied.To me,to the world.The world lied,to itself.I was truthful and truth hurts.The world,the society is an hypocrisy,its ideas and ideals are contradictory…..

now i am here and i will change everything.I have a dream to make this a better place for everything.I smell victory,i smell life.I can hear the songs of a new day and the dirge fade away.May the world live.

Yes the world will live,my friends.For there are many who live in it.They live with the hope that life will become better.A few more than hope,they act.They aspire to build the world and make it a better place.They think of where they can be and they reach it.The trick is to be there before.To see your self there,doing that.

Stories are only a way to narrate what a person feels deep inside.We all fall in love.

once upon a time….

once upon a time i was bold and brave.Now i am scared and it shows in my thin white face.I am left to tell myself.I am the only one who is there to hear.Oh! what misfortune? what misery why will no one ever believe me?can i dream of a better day?it was all because of one fateful day…

It began thus and in the moment of glory meant for me,i fell and fainted.Insults on insults,i was hurt.It was because of my mistake the earth shook,it was because of me she died.What did i ever do to her?what did i ever do to you?i loved her.

Love it seems is a sin and i am victim of it.where can i seek my solace?



here i am.DO i have everything i asked for.Yes the mountains are there.The waterfall falls.I am going to fall with it.Not everyone has dreamt of being a waterfall-i have.So i want to know how it is to be free.Freedom.did i have that or rather had i had that,since i believe these are my last moments.I sit over here watching nature and hearing to its tune.What difference will me jumping make to the world,where change is permanent? Who will care? It is not hell or heaven which i am bothered about,rather which is more profound?I am afraid.What will happen if i do not get killed? will i have to live again? Will they throw me into a lunatic hell?What will happen,if i get injured and have to wait for death to arrive?what will happen,if some animal bites me and eats when i am alive.Fear.I know to come this far,i have conquered fear,but can i jump and prove fear wrong.The world will tell that fear is what lead me to.But they will never realise that they are the once who fear.IT is so easy.IS life the most precious gift?Yes.I have enjoyed.I see the beauty in everything.But I like to be crazy-who knows i may live to tell the tale.I can see i am becoming nervous about it.I can’t think of one thing- i dream about my girl friend,my family,my friends,my neighbors.my neighbor’s children.the world,the wind,the water which i have decided to follow.

I think this is what will be taken as a suicide note,so let me do justice to this:

once upon a time i thought of love
i was dreaming of one lost dove.
I was one never to fail
and followed the trail.
The wind was fair
but all wasn’t.A lair
and a fear to fail.
There ended my tale,
once so untame,
became more than lame.
I lived in a shell
then suddenly all seemed well,
i thought to tell
and tried to sell,
again it seemed luck
was at last my sitting duck.
But never it seemed
the devil who lived
leave my destiny,
It never did leave my vicinity.
It was all i had for company,
till end it eat and caused a mutiny.
Within i drowned,each day
i lost the way
and all sound
left the needed bound.
I think again
of the day when I went vain.
I became insane,
and lost my dame.
Without shame
i the lame,
lived and killed-
time revealed
and i lost
it was bit by frost.
I hit the dirt
and lost my flirt
and exposed my skin
and loose fin,
to the harsh weather
of humans.whether
this will be seen
or just be like how i have been
and get mugged by
pride and ego.My life
is here lived
and tale played.
This stage i see,
bit more i have to spend,
this this will be the end.
Fare love to the world
i charge.At this splendid
dieing hour.Sans me
there can be
no lose
let this prose
be the toast
and not the roast.


there is something about writing,you don’t need to care for anything.When you write for yourself,you are the creator and you are the traveler.There is nothing better than writing.No other solution in life.It is the best solution in life.And it is all i know and i have.Here i am.When i walk on the street i look like anyone else.But am i anyone else? No,at least to myself i am something more.What do i have to do with the universe?what is my purpose?what is my job?Well i think asking those things is the mistake i made.By doing so,i have landed myself in trouble so large,that even the highest mountain looks small.Simplicity is a lost word,wish i can find it.In that hope i asked those questions.Yet now i am so far away from it i wish i hadn’t.Is questioning something wrong?Why can’t we live life as we should? simple.Why should we live in knit packs,cover ourselves and live closed doors?can’t we go wild?Can’t we be just what we are supposed to be?What are we supposed to be?Humans.We hide our emotions not because we are afraid-of simplicity.All of us are simple creatures.We have let the sands settle and become rocks over us.We are born free,but we cover ourselves.What makes me write all this?

For i want to be simple.But what is simple about me? nothing.I am very complex being.Aren’t we all thought that we the great humans are unique,animals all are dumb?then contradictions.They tell you animals are so clever.

Why can’t humans just be what they should be?well we are aren’t we? but simplicity.Were we never simple?all of us try to survive,we try to outwit each other.Yet call each other as friends!
We can’t even talk simply.We have to show what we know.Nothing wrong.But we should be more helping and not look down at people right?who cares?have a person down?stamp him,destroy him beyond recognition.But remember his sand falls on you.You die harder.What is this death anyway?how is it to kiss it?can i have an answer?



when i took the first step,it was a single movement forward.Since then i have never looked back.But my memories haunt me.What can i do?i wish i can get rid of them? is there a way? where on earth can i go and just let my self go? A mountain cliff?No way.I can’t help imagining my picture in the front page and the shock my parents will have.Why do i still care about them?it was because of them i ran away.

I ran away far from it all.But was it a mistake?I should have taken everything?all the insults?all the lies?I wish i can do something.


They all met one day,it is inside you.You have many lives.You live it in many ways and you write your tale.Many more like them and they live inside you.All of them put together,it makes you.Tell your life tale.It is yours.Freedom is not something far off.It is you who can decide either to jump or not to.It is left to you to either change the world or leave it.It is left to you,to take the first step in life-either face it or run away from it.It is left to you to let yourself be heard and not be left lamenting to yourself.IT IS YOU WHO IS IMPORTANT.IT IS YOU WHO CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING AND YOU ARE YOU.IT IS YOUR LOVE WHICH CAN MAKE WHAT YOU DESIRE HAPPEN.THE LOVE FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU WISH TO ACHIEVE IS THE BEST TOOL YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FEAR.BE YOURSELF,SHOW TO THE WORLD YOUR TRUE SELF:)


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