the shadow behind me[its a story!!]

November 4, 2007 § Leave a comment

long hours crept by.there was a single flickering light,throwing shadows of monstrous proportions.I felt lost,among the virtual,immortal cloaks which have clung onto me.Their darkness,their depth,their shallowness in physic,their constant backpacking with me reminds me of my past.As a child i remember chasing them,they always won.They were my my fuel,my companion and my tutor.When i chased butterflies,they moved with me.When i raced the skies they joined me.

times have changed.the nostalgia which one smells from old books and antiques send out the message of the times between.Here i am facing my life.My worst fears.I know i am the last,the last of the peace loving humans.The world is now filled with fanatics and blasphemous scoundrels.

i am surrounded my them.The sun is shining.The air is moving. but Simplicity is a lost word.My life seems to be staring away.It is drawn by the beauty.I am left to fend for myself,against these treacherous creatures.I need to fight,i hear something say,but i am lost without any inspiration.I know i need to do this.I know i need to break the physical barrier.I know i need to let myself dance to the inner tune.But how?

Inspirations-where does one get them from?There is something in everything.Yet the quantum of inspiration required to break away from normalcy and doodle something is not reached,It requires a medley of inspirations.I am between many.yet the one thing,which will complete this work of art,is not there,rather i don’t see it.

What do i face?i see their faces,their eyes.the innuendo to cheat a person and strip them of their greatest gift-life.There is love-the love to kill.What leads them to this?What drove such soft creatures to ruining themselves.What morals dwell in their minds? oh heart! it pains to even think.Virtuosity,chivalry,philanthropic,magnanimous,heart what am i to do?

It aches to see my brethren mislead by some unseen force.It pokes to see the future of my motherland being fed with violence.What am i to do?oh heart inspire me.

where should i find inspiration?

“inspire me oh! wind!
inspire me oh! fiend!
inspire me oh!sun!
inspire me oh!son!
my nation!
my life!my passion!
oh inspiration!
oh!the need of elevation!
take oh! sands,
oh! waves,
fall into me
and reap a tune
to break the immune
venom in the minds!
Climb onto me,vibrations!
Sing through me to break
the mindless minds,for the sake
of the world and your presence!”

I am an old man.what can i do,but cry to the lifeless immortals? what can i do but live in cobwebbed memories?The days are my past.But still i have something to give.But to live,i need that one thing.THE SHADOW BEHIND ME something said.

I looked.Yes i was facing the sun.What a moment.What beauty.Yes the wind,the sun and the sands were a part.Yes i have it,but now what do i do?

Have i gone insane?Well i think my expression had changed from on of startlement and fear to one of acceptance.The initial panic had gone.I have heard and also seen,these creatures like to torture their victims.

I wanted to retreat into my shell.I wanted to become a shadow.How easy it is being the shadow?Oh!how i wish!Where will i go?My legs don’t have anything in them to run.My mind is too involved in the distant horizon then, where i stood.What was i expecting an asteroid?
The improbable .But in this impalpable universe anything is possible.I pray to my stars to send something.They tell me i have my shadow.

What am i supposed to do with you?i ask desperate and hopelessly.It is all going to end.I see a joy in them.This is life coffee for them.Without them they will get an headache.

“SO” asked the guy who seemed to be leading them.”how old are you?”
“more then you are”i replied.I needed to buy time.The others were thrilled suddenly.Looks like they like pickles.
“ha,that i know”.”old loons like you are given special treatment.” ” no thank you i prefer the usual.” what did i think,i was in CCD,ordering coffee?
The guy slapped me-cheers from others.Now there mouths were watering?what did they eat you alive?Was this there new idea?oh!i felt dizzy.Please god tell me i am in a dream.

Where was I?my shadow where are you?it was still behind me? have i lived in false hope,that i will inspire the next gen?No.There is still a ray of hope.That is if i get past this.Apparently I am thinking about all this,while my body is getting thrashed.If i ever survive this lambast.Suddenly something bit my leg.I saw,how gruesome. it time to call quits.I was about to let what has to happen ,happen and everything end.But someone it seems wasn’t satisfied.So instead the bard in me took stage again.

“oh!you my father,
oh!you mother!
let not my blood
be wasted.”

“well it shall be drunk,don’t worry.”And a lot of laughter.

“come inspire me,
let there be peace.”

“peas?oh yes,we will add your blood to peas.”What a time for a PJ.

“my friend
save me from these fiends.
come,where are you?
when will you pay my due?
My shadow
my shadow,
come alive,
wake up and revive,
me and my life.”

And someone came.expectations.Well i am blessed,it was my friend.And the second they saw him,the others stopped.What will happen,will i be eaten alive?or will he save me?

With my last strength i pulled my tattered head up,saw into his eyes and said “mercy brother”.
And like in a movie i fainted.

I don’t know where i have woken up.For i am in a room.There is a single lamp and a single note.All it says is,”your shadow is your companion.”And i am happy.What else do i need?but peace?.I will become the lamp.

I walk out,my mobile phone tells me,an hour has passed.Time crawls at times.But the shadow is always there.It is always backing me and with me.It has given me the inspiration to face the world.If i can tell what i know to the world,and it was what i wanted.Now i have the courage for i know the shadow is behind me and with me.It will tell me and lead me and inspire me to write and spread my thoughts and itself to the world.It will become immortal and so will i.

I shall rise and paint the skies.i am a man to change and inspire and i will do so.Age is of time and time a shadow of universe.And i am the universe.And i am the shadow.What else do i need?I love my life.


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