Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 3!(spoof)
January 9, 2009 § 9 Comments
And the voice on the other end,chirped,”yeeeeyaaa!Thondi raja!You have been selceted to perform in the Thondi Idol!”.The king,went ablaze,he jumped and he danced and started to sing,” Oh,want to have a thondi just like this? Just eat all you have…oh! want to have a thondi just like this…”,The old man with the beard,gave a “I told you so” smile,whitened,by a secret formula,approved by the shamen and the head priest of thondi.
Ops,if you haven’t read part 2 yet then read it here.
The king replied to the voice,”Sure,I am honoured and since I sent away our star singer,Himesh,there is no competition for me,though there is this blogger called Vimal,ha did he qualify?”.
“Yes he did and we would be honoured,if you as the king do the thondi dance,to the song,”thondis don’t lie” “.
Even more delighted,”wow,now I need a partner..,when is it? “.And replied the voice ,all earnest and young ” You have plenty of time,oh!the world record holder for eating the most number of bhadushas(bhadushas are Indian donout,though it should be the other way about.),to put on some weight and get ready for the dance.All the best your highness,TC.”
As the call ended,the king turned around and thanked the smiling man with the beard.The man with the beard responded,” This is the secret of Bush to get elected for the second term,the secret of Paris Hilton,to be so slim and Tony Blair,to lie so much and oh! your highness,this will always keep you fat! You are indeed the pride of thondi! Now I think you should go back,take a pack of Sambar with you.
“I will also teach you the code to return here,but remember this is not web 2.0,no twitter,no stumble,no orkut,no facebook,just keep it to yourself,keep saying it until,you know it like the moves of your favorite heroine or like a kid who watched DD in the 90s,knows the dialogues of Mahabaratha and Ramayana”.
“OH! my fine old man,I understand.I will not give it to anyway,least of all NTTV and I will keep the travelling charges out of my books ,my accountant doesn’t know accounts anyway,he learned the trade at PWC and gets a hefty salary,anyway he is busy, he is appearing as a market analyst in one of those channels called NTTV Loss.And some how,the KTIAA(Kingdom of Thondi Accountants Association) don’t know what to do with him.I could have him thrown to the lions,but unfortunately,the lions,seem to be influenced by our Health minister,maybe,I should make the Rambodoc,from the wonderful blogging world,as the health minsiter.”
“Oh!king whatever.It is time to go.” The man with the beard, then again placed a stone,measured his steps,compained and hit the Ronaldo style free kick.The stone feel into the Magical Sambar river and they were back.
And as they came out of the forest,a guard came running,” Breaking news oh! king,Sathyam boss,just quit.It seems he had doctored the books.”
”Ha,you fine young man”,the king patted the man on his shoulder,”it is late news,if you want the full story,start blogging,as it is ,you don’t do any work,except,taking bribes from the beggars,to keep the big guards away.I tell you go,I will give you some money,eat ,get a thondi,don’t cheat and read blogs all day long.Otherwise,I will soon start being the “sources within” for the NEWS channels.”
“Oh!king,I am sorry,no,I do blog,but the feeds arrived a little late.Rather I was watching videos on youtube and forgot all about blogging.”
“Ha ,I am feeling hungry,run along”. The king turned to the minsiter who had arrived.”What happened to the Israel bombings?”
The minister hesitated and confessed,”My brain was struck!”.
The king laughed out loud and beamed,” LOL,now that is a good minister.What a country,no wonder,we have pertol workers going on a strike etc.If we have such wonderful ministers!Now,you are going to get stuck,I am going to send you to the rehab,no comupters for five months.And remember to shave your hair.Of course we will give you a chalk.”
And so the king walked along,majestic as always.He took out his PDA(again gifted).And grunted,”Ha,this Microsoft,it is always getting hung.I thought they didn’t have capital punishments.”And at that moment,an apple,feel from the sky..
Sambar magic(the tale of thondiraja)-part 2!(spoof)
January 4, 2009 § 8 Comments
The king once informed,was elated.He gave his wonderful ministers a treat in the Taj,near the Gateway of Thondi.While eating an exotic fifty course meal,he was informed,that the lady in question was angry and was planning to sue the king of thondi in the international court of justice,for using her name.Confused and perplexed,the king,had a second helping of each dish.
The great Thondiraja,returned to his court.He knew the only way to help cool a person who lived in the artic(almost),was to send a “hot” gift.The singer Himesh would have been useful,but unfortunately he was in England.The sight of the latest AK 74,caught his eyes.What better gift,to give a person? After all the cold might get to her head and she might need something to help.He would send her some wine from his vineyards in France and a few guns.
The minister was summoned and told to write a letter,intricately describing,the beauty of American culture and their wonderful screaming music.The minister being a financial genius,praised the wall street businessmen and their slyly tactics.The letter was then sprayed with the latest deo from axe.The wine and the letter were shipped to the Arctic.A couple of days later,he received a mail from the lady and that she was impressed.
The king didn’t not like this at all.The queen should be more terrifying,so terrifying that the devil’s of interviews should cry and wish to be exported to some country.The king sent her a CD of Suprabatham and wished her long life.
After all the hullabaloo the king,was tired and wanted some real romance.So before parading his fleet of concords to another country and hunting a lady,he wrote a post on his blog condemning the air strikes by one country on another.This way the ministers would be kept on their toes and they would not eat too much,get a heart attack and die forcing him to return early.
At the airport,while he was about to board his plane,in a rather filmy style,an old man with a long beard and a sitar appeared.It would be blasphemy not to give a full account of what happened,so the actual conversation which took place:-
King Thondi:-Who are you? I am off to find a wife,so unless you have a daughter,you can talk.Since that is unlikely,move out of way of I shall crush you.
The man with the bread:- Oh wise one,my name would not be needed here.But I am the man who can offer you solace.
King Thondi:-Solace,Quantum of Solace? I didn’t like the movie.That fellow looked older than you,old man.And i would have been a better hero.I don’t talk to people without names,so be fast,i don’t want to waste the tax payer’s money by keeping the planes running!
The man with the beard:-
My father’s name is Bhrama
and my fav line is Narayana.
Krishna’s best friend was Sudhama,
Narayana Narayana,
from the Himalaya to Kumari,
From Ganga to Kaveri,
I am the sage who has fun
All the while on the run-
I am Narada.
Or at least,i played the part in Doordarshan.So call me that.Anyway I too pay taxes,so follow me oh! great king,who can eat the enitre universe,please follow me,I shall get you a wife.
King thondi:-Ha interesting,now I can Identify you,the bread has changed you.A queen? Who is she? Is she hotter than Shakira? Can she dance? Can she sing? Oh! you great Narada?
The man with the bread:-By the merc your father gave me,yes she is way way better,follow me.
And so the king ordered the planes to be shut.He wouldn’t have lost,after all the fuel prices ha come down.He then followed the man with the beard.
They entered the forests,the king held his gun ready,there were rumors that a pink panther was moving about.But the man with the bread,motioned him to put the gun down.And then,like Ronaldo,measuring a free kick,the man with the bread,measured 5 steps talked to a tree,complained that the bushes had grown too fast and ran and smacked a near by stone.The stone bounced of another tree,enraged,he took it on the volley and this time hit went over the tree and landed some distance away in a small pond.
The scenery changed.There in the middle of what seemed to be a heaven in earth,was a river.But instead of water,sambar flowed.The king was stunned,why he didn’t know the Sambar river went through Thondi,he thought it was only a myth.
He then realized it was another world,a world with a world.And at that moment his phone rang.The Sambar magic began.
TO BE CONTINUED…
